Emily Howald | Monday, September 15, 2003
So we all know how everyone secretly loves the ’80s. There are always dances that honor the great fashions that filled the era, and we consistently attempt to find reasons to repeat the oh-so-treacherous fashion mishaps that plagued the time period. Well boys and girls, it’s back with the hotness of 99 Luftballoons.
Yep, that’s right; the ’80s are making their comeback, and not all too quietly either. Slits in the clothes, camouflage prints, parachute pants, too many zippers to count, off the shoulder tops … you name it – and it is considered “in style” in all the major cities and stores.
It’s a scary thought to know that once again we may be wearing pink heals with yellow tights, or tight-rolled jeans, but that is what the designers are bringing back, so who knows. While we falshdance, there could be some serious flashbacks.
Remember how you laugh at how ridiculous you looked back during those horrible days in the ’80s? Apparently the designers don’t think we have had enough of the neons, the rips and tears, or the spandex. So get ready for yet another dose.
But guys, don’t think this gives you the right to dress like George Michael or grow out a mullet. Because however popular the stone-washed jean jackets and Miami Vice sport-coats were in the day, I can speak for at least one girl when I say that there is rarely an excuse for them today. It will take more than a fad to bring back cut-off jean shorts. And let’s face it, as funny as we all think mullets can be, it will most definitely not score you any points with the female population, trust me on this one.
So even though the Saved by the Bell look is back, as scary as that may be for some of us, we are going to have to deal with it for awhile. We all thought Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski were the coolest people in the world once upon a time; looks like we are going to have to try to find that yet again, but then again, when was Zack really ever not cool?
My advice is to take advantage of it – it could be fun to pull out the crimpers and the slap bracelets. Just don’t spend too much money trying to emulate Pat Benatar, as it will most likely not last long. We’ve already done the side-ponytails and scrunchies once, what more can you do?
So next weekend, when you are jamming out to Rick Springfield or Starship, throw on a something that you reminds of the good old days and have a little ’80s pride before video kills the radio star … again.
Emily Howald is far better at giving advice on clothes than really anything else. She is a pro at “damage control,” yet does it far too often and is a bit too sarcastic for her own good. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org but be nice!