Read this for once
Gales, Kate | Wednesday, January 21, 2004
You’re not even reading this, are you?That’s because this is the Inside Column. Most people skip it. Honestly, I don’t blame you. Giving paid staff members 400 words every single day leads to a lot of stress and really pointless columns. I consider it overkill.Personally, I’m a freshman, which means I get stuck doing these columns as my coworkers of legal age go bar-hopping. It will be great to be the senior in this position, so I’ll suck it up for now. But future freshmen, beware – the day I turn 21 is the day my inside column days are over.I’m also basically out of topics. This is a column about anything – what on earth am I supposed to write about? My life is incredibly boring. I’ve talked about my dad’s wild college days, eating pizza at 3 a.m. and how I love my Cavanaugh interhall football team. I’m not going to take 400 words to talk about how I read a lot of books, love National Arbor Day, know how to knit and spend half my waking hours checking peoples’ away messages. What’s more interesting? Well, I spend a lot of time – for a girl – thinking about, talking about, and watching sports. However, I’ve totally exhausted this topic now that my poor Eagles are out of the Super Bowl. By the way, I’m boycotting the Super Bowl this year. Other interesting details of my life won’t be appropriate for this column because (a) my grandparents subscribe to The Observer and will probably read this and (b) I’m neither 21 nor married, which severely limits the diversions I can pursue according to the rules of duLac. My editors probably wouldn’t like those kinds of columns. Actually, they’d probably enjoy reading them, make fun of me a lot and make me rewrite the column about something more appropriate. Why waste my time? I’d say about three-quarters of my readers are friends who have heard me complain about how I have to write this column and want to see what all my fuss is about. I know for a fact, however, that people actually read this. That fascinates me. People will do anything to get out of doing productive work, including reading my columns and even e-mailing me responses. Okay, it was a bitter Giants fan – and I’d be bitter too, if I was stuck cheering for that team. So thanks for reading to the end of this. If you come up with a good idea for an inside, let me know – I’ll probably need one soon.
The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer. Contact Kate Gales at firstname.lastname@example.org.