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Thursday, April 25, 2024
The Observer

Field narrowed down in early rounds

The NBA it was not, but Tuesday's Team Thiz/Something Sexy matchup was everything one would expect from a first-round bookstore basketball game.A sense of humor and good-natured playfulness was the mood at the McGlinn courts as five men wearing visible thongs ("thizzes") took on five girls in green togas.Although Team Thiz beat Something Sexy 21-15, the game was enjoyed by both sides."This is our third year for Team Thiz and we were hoping for a win this year," said captain Mike Bott. "The biggest thing was that we give the people what they want to see. We were a little disappointed in our halftime show but hopefully next round will be better."Nicolas Lopez, Carlos Cabral, Mike Kirsch and Matt Lafrotta rounded out Team Thiz's deep lineup. Cabral was a force inside as center, with Lafrotta and Lopez providing quick points in transition and Kirsch solid in all areas.The freshmen of Something Sexy celebrated their first foray into the competitive world of Bookstore Basketball. The game was close, tied 11-10 at halftime, until Team Thiz pulled away at the end for the win. "We held our own against Team Thiz, probably because their leopard print thongs didn't intimidate us like they had hoped," said Something Sexy's leading scorer, Marin Hinzpeter. She combined with Tiffney Gulick for the majority of Something Sexy's points, with small forward Kate Gales adding the occasional unexpected basket. Nicole Garton was a premier defensive player, and Carolyn White was dominant in the paint for Something Sexy."We're looking forward to the next round," Bott said. "We'll show off our thizzes a little more and maybe play some basketball."Sex, Drugs, and House 21, Feline Taxidermists 17It wasn't curiosity that killed the cat. It was promiscuity and drug addiction. Sex, Drugs, and House celebrated its 21-17 victory over the Feline Taxidermist's during the second round of the Bookstore Basketball Tournament. Despite both teams appearing to be evenly matched by their height and athleticism, it was House who triumphed in enthusiasm as they had matching shirts, music blaring in the background, "There's no way out ... Sex, Drugs, and House," and players shouting after every point.Heading into halftime, House held an 11-9 lead over the Taxidermists. Although House held an advantage, they were aware of Taxidermists' determination to persevere. "They're penetrating hard," House player Griffin Eaton said. Beginning the second half, the Taxidermists began to break through the House defense as they closed within 17-16 towards the end of the game and took advantage of a series of turnovers. However, House came back to go on a 4-1 run to secure the victory. Despite a hard fought win, House did not seem too overconfident heading into the second round. "We're probably going to get wasted at the next game," Eaton said. "A ranked team will probably annihilate us but we just wanted to do well in the first round."Craig Fencing 21, Pain Train 4This train proved to be painless as Craig Fencing dominated 21-4 in their second-round match-up.Despite the lopsided victory, Craig Fencing guard Alex Harty was impressed with their competitor's determination. "We took it a little easy on them, but they made a lot of jumpers that most girls teams wouldn't make," Harty said. "In the second half they stopped scoring, but they never gave up."After two match-ups against two female teams, Craig Fencing must face a ranked opponent in the third round. "We had a great time these first two rounds, but now it is time to see how we match up against a ranked opponent," Craig Fencing player Tommy Forr said. Dolly Parton, Boat Club and Three Other Huge Busts 21, Tito, Germaine, Marlon, Janet, and Another Guy that Takes a Lot of Charges 15Their own size couldn't stop the Dolly Parton, Boat Club, and Three Other Huge Busts. Neither could their opponents.The team dubbed Tito, Germaine, Marlon, Janet, and Another Guy that Takes a Lot of Charges succumbed to Dolly Parton's basketball prowess 21-15. Although Dolly Parton's players hover around 5-foot-7, the team overwhelmed their opponents, taking an early lead."Seven early 3-point shots gave Dolly Parton an early lead - one which they never relinquished. The team was ahead 11-5 at halftime and maintained a four-point lead throughout the game. The game grew physical as the Dolly Parton neared the win. "The big man got me!" screamed a Tito, Germaine, Marlon, Janet, and Another Guy that Takes a Lot of Charges player in response to Dolly Parton's senior Mike Goolsby's rebounding.Freshman David Duffey's final basket ensured the win for Dolly Parton and extended their Bookstore Basketball run. The team is set to face law students next game. "We'll be bringing the big guns for next game," freshman Colin Laughlin said.