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What would you say it is you do?

Steve Coyer | Thursday, February 24, 2005

Lately I’ve been feeling an overwhelming urge to procrastinate. I’m sure we can all relate. Midterms and essays await me but the urge to pop in an episode of “The O.C.” or search aimlessly through thefacebook.com seems much too tempting.

Some people might claim they never procrastinate and finish all their work promptly and on time. For the rest of us, we’d rather pull the all-nighter and not worry ourselves. So with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here’s my top list of when “you know you’re a procrastinator.”

10. You know you’re a procrastinator when you’d rather watch Elimi-Date weekend in its entirety rather than starting that philo paper that you have due in two days.

9. You know you’re a procrastinator if you try to start a research project but don’t even make it to the library after you remember that you could be doing nothing instead.

8. You know you’re a procrastinator if you put off until tomorrow what can be put off until the day after tomorrow just as easily.

7. You know you’re a procrastinator if you decide to start studying but then remember that later that night Walker, Texas Ranger will be on TV. Clearly, you’re not going to pass up Walker.

6. You know you’re a procrastinator if you would rather watch Old School for the 100th time instead of reading the 100 pages that you’re behind in that literature class.

5. You know you’re a procrastinator if it takes you more effort to start a term paper ahead of time than it does to spend an entire day playing NCAA football on X-box.

4. You know you’re a procrastinator if you can type conversations back and forth on AIM that total thousands of words before you dare start that 500-word essay.

3. You know you’re a procrastinator if you’ve tried to start your work only to realize that it’s Saturday and there was no reason to be working in the first place.

2. You know you’re a procrastinator when you make a promise to get all your work done on Thursday night but then remember that your mouth feels dry and you need to quench your thirst for an extended period.

1. You know you’re a procrastinator if you set out to finish your calculus homework but instead decide to start a new club on thefacebook.com and tell all your friends about it.

But there’s still one more thing I forgot … you know you’re a procrastinator when you can put off doing an assignment and in a strange way feel good that you did. After all, we’re only young once and that paper on Socrates can wait until 3 a.m. next week.