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Secret Lovers

Justin Tardiff | Wednesday, March 2, 2005

So while sitting down to write this column, a strange song began to play on my playlist. I started jamming to Atlantic Starr’s “Secret Lovers.” I listened to the lyrics and wondered about secret lovers. What does it really mean? And I don’t want to get into that dirty connotation that secret lovers mean someone is cheating on someone else. No no, that’s not what I’m going for. No one is cheating on anyone. Well, at least we hope not. Right?Anyway, secret lovers are those who don’t want anyone to know what is going on. Sure there are a few people who have to know some things. People like your roommates. Its hard to sneak around without them finding out. You live with them, they pretty much have to know everything about you. So besides roommates, no one knows what is going on with two people. Maybe your parents, because they like to know that kind of stuff too. But they are a good leak, no one will know. We can only hope.So why be secret lovers? You don’t want people to know because you might face opposition from different forces. Friends of your secret love may not like you and wouldn’t approve. The ex-es may find out and come looking for you, and it won’t be to congratulate you. Others may feel only they are good enough for your secret love, so if they find out anything you hurt that friendship. Many factors go into it.The positives of it: people won’t know and you won’t lose friends. In the long run, people can become accustomed to your relationship and then you can spring it on them. The exchange: Yeah, we are dating. What? How long? Oh, for about 5 months now. No way! See, it becomes easy. You also don’t have to worry about what other people will say. Besides, who really wants to hear what this person should or should not be doing. Right? Their business is just that, their business. A few negatives too: certain situations can arose suspicions. Parties, outings or anything that involves beverages and the two secret lovers together. Not a good mix, and it may be necessary to come with a chaperone. Someone who knows something but not the whole thing to make sure nothing happens between the two lovers. So secret lovers may be good or not, but it is up to you to decide if you want it or not.