It could be worse
Observer Viewpoint | Thursday, April 7, 2005
I am writing to respond to a letter written by Duncan McIntyre entitled “Cable creates distractions,” which was printed on April 6. There is one line in the letter that I would specifically like to analyze. Mr. McIntyre states, “I would like to put forward the opinion that providing cable in the dorms would be the worst thing that could possibly happen to this University.” I have come up with examples that, in my humble opinion, are clearly worse than Notre Dame providing cable in the dorms.
1. The radiation building explodes causing students to seek refuge at either Saint Mary’s or Stepan Center.
2. A plague of locusts mysteriously descends upon campus and infests every classroom building to breed.
3. In a freak accident, the scaffolding over the dome collapses and turns a $500,000 renovation into a $10 million rebuilding process.
4. A meteor the size of a Volkswagen collides into DeBartolo Hall during peak class time.
5. Power goes out in Michigan and northern Indiana for the remainder of the semester, causing students and teachers alike to resort to using typewriters to type final papers and exams.
6. The administration decides to cancel this year’s commencement ceremonies due to a “lack of enthusiasm.”
7. Notre Dame professors begin a strike which they claim will last until the next Notre Dame football championship.
8. A draught causes St. Mary’s and St. Joseph’s lakes to dry up.
9. Father Poorman establishes a new position for the University entitled Spiritual Advisor and appoints Michael Jackson an unconditional spot there for the remainder of his tenure.
10. All Notre Dame alumni stop donating money, forever.
The scenarios I just described may be outrageous, but they are not as ridiculous as a college graduate believing that putting cable into dorm rooms is the worst possible thing that could happen to a school. This will be my last semester living on campus, so this decision will have little if any effect on me personally. However, I believe that asking the administration to put cable in the dorms is not asking too much. The majority of schools that are similar to ours as far as tradition and demographics are concerned already have provided cable to their students living on campus. The implementation of cable in the dorms would almost eliminate the usage of satellites that litter the exteriors of many dorms and provide an opportunity to get a decent number of channels for students living in dorms which prohibit the use of satellites. If television is such a big distraction for students who are already very busy with classes and extracurricular activities, it can be turned off. Let individuals decide how they want to spend their time.