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Proper quad attire

Jen Rowling | Thursday, April 21, 2005

From what I can recall, Notre Dame is not the University of Southern California.

While the beauty of the St. Joe’s and St. Mary’s Lakes surpasses any ocean, unfortunately they are barely lakes – rather representative of ponds.

At the same time it is understandable how the grassy North, South and God quads can be mistaken for the sandy beaches of the Pacific coast.

The sooner students come to recognize the difference between the beaches of California and the quads of Notre Dame, the better off we all will be.

What exactly do I mean by understanding the difference between the quads and the beach? By no means do I suggest that students not be out enjoying the radiant South Bend sun. That is what the quads are for. I enjoy walking to and from classes listening to the resounding music from the dorm windows and witnessing the countless games of frisbee, soccer and baseball. Furthermore, I find great pleasure in observing the talented trapeze artists who spend their afternoons walking across a rope connected to trees. All would agree that a nap on the grass tops off a spring day at Notre Dame.

So where exactly does the problem come in?

The spring events I have described take place on a grassy quad, and therefore, they should be accompanied by “quad attire.” Although I cannot specify exactly what I mean by “quad attire,” I can, however, explain what I do not intend.

Ladies, while it is finally warm enough to stop wasting money at FunTan and Malibu Tan, the quad is not the beach. Wear your bathing suits underneath a tank top and shorts. Heck, even sport your bathing top if you truly desire. Please, however, refrain from modeling the entire swim suit. When you run out to catch that frisbee at least have on a pair of shorts.

Gentlemen, I must admit there are a few of you who are deserving of a “double take” with your shirts off. However, is it really necessary all the time? I never realized how throwing a baseball or frisbee could work up such an intense sweat. Make us girls think you are a bit more masculine. Save the non-shirt competitions for a heated game of quad football or volleyball.

Couples, relaxing together on a blanket underneath the sunny sky is more than acceptable. When I pass couples laughing, talking and basking in the sun, I smile and find it quite adorable. However, excessive affection should not be on display. Warmer temperatures do not mean increased public display of affection.

In short, keep your clothes on and have fun!