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To Notre Dame, v.

Maddie Hanna | Tuesday, September 6, 2005

“He’s probably with that cutie freshman he’s been macking on. She’s got a boyfriend, though – it’s one of those-guy-back-home things. But you know she’s going to be at a party, and some guy’s going to Notre Dame her…”

“Wait, what?” I quickly jumped in to the dinner conversation unfolding between five of my guy friends. “He’s going to do what?”

The table erupted in laughter, and I realized how out of place I was in this strange world of guy talk. I demanded an explanation. The following comes straight from my sources that wish to remain nameless. They say this is “the up-and-coming thing.” Decide for yourself.

To Notre Dame, v.: A method of conducting oneself around a member of the opposite sex, which has five separate – but equal – components.

1. Judgment must be impaired.

2. It has to take place in a crowded area. Especially good places are alleys and basements of really sketchy houses.

3. You have to make out with her for a decent amount of time – at least 10-15 minutes.

4. She can NOT spend the night. She MUST go home with her girlfriends.

5. When you see her again, later on, it must be as awkward as possible. Like you don’t want to talk about it. And maybe you don’t. But if you do, it is really, really uncomfortable.

At first glance, I would say the concept is ridiculous. Yes, it’s embarrassing. Yes, it’s chauvinistic … right?

Wrong. It works both ways. As the guys pointed out, “Girls can Notre Dame guys too, and they definitely do.” One even said girls like it more than guys do – although that is certainly subject to debate. But the real question is their usage of the term.

To Notre Dame. Our holier-than-most school has been reduced to a verb that references a seamy Saturday night encounter between two young, buzzed Domers. But, as the guys are trying to say, a relatively innocent encounter – because girls here won’t let it go further. Notre Daming repeats itself over and over again, but almost never with the same participants. And it’s taken for granted on this campus, just like quarter dogs at midnight and swarming crowds on football weekends.

It’s safe to say that Notre Daming someone is taken for granted at college campuses across the nation. But at other schools, it’s not always so contrived, not always so forced. More notably, it’s not always so innocent.

The time-worn complaint from guys here is that Notre Dame girls “don’t put out.” This column won’t use statistics, just the assumption there is less sexual activity here than at many other colleges. That’s nothing new. But what many students overlook is the nature of the University, the seniors it attracts and the students it molds. The campus is socially conservative. Whether that draws like-minded girls or influences them upon arrival is a tough question. But one thing’s for sure – nothing’s going to change.

Because, come on, it’s Notre Dame.