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Do you ever wonder …

Observer Viewpoint | Thursday, February 23, 2006

Here are a few questions that are likely to make some people angry. My friends and I have often wondered about these issues, and I think I speak for a majority of Notre Dame Students when I say I’d love to know the answers.

Number 1: How much does it actually cost to eat in the dining hall? Seriously. Does it really cost $10? Nothing against our dining hall staff who do an excellent job preparing our food – the cake is sometimes dry but that’s a minor complaint – but where in God’s green earth does $10 times however many students worth of meal plan money go?

Then there’s the fact that people don’t even use all 14 meals a week, ND Food Services saves money on our meals when we pack a brown bag with two sips of water, a rotten apple, three halves of a PB&J sandwich and a granola bar. All I’m saying is, I’d love to see the financial statements for Food Services. Furthermore, thinking about the fact that I would be $12,000 less in debt when I graduate if I didn’t have to purchase a meal plan makes me sick when I eat sea nuggets and drink carbonated cherry water.

Number 2: How hard is it to make a good pizza? Sbarro wasn’t available for comment, so we’ll revisit this one at a later date.

Number 3: Is NDSP for real? I’ve heard so many horror stories about how people have been treated by our police force. I seriously wonder how they escape lawsuits sometimes. I know they keep us safe and look out for our own good – thanks for that – but I’ve heard of people who are old enough to make their own decisions talked to like children, I’ve witnessed students being chased into their dorm and tackled and personally, I’ve gotten parking tickets for absolutely no reason. (Note: I love NDSP and all of its employees. Please do not tow my car or arrest my friends.)

Number 4: Does Notre Dame Stadium really have jail cells in it? Apparently, this is true. I’m not going to elaborate. I just thought you would like to know.

Number 5: Parietals – why? How realistic are these monastic-life inspired boundaries? I’m a firm believer in the school of thought that if enough people are breaking a rule that doesn’t hurt anyone, damage anything, or infringe on anyone else’s freedom then it shouldn’t be a rule. Libertarian? Maybe. Believe me, I love being able to walk into the hall at 4 a.m. in my underwear and not worry about Sobering-up Sally walking around, but given the alternative of having to toss her out at 2 a.m. I would gladly put on sweatpants.

One final note: I need a date to Zahm’s Decade Dance coming up after spring break. We’ll get Grab ‘N Go beforehand, run from NDSP leaving the dance, and … you see where I’m going here. E-mail me if you’re interested.