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Thursday, April 18, 2024
The Observer

The countdown

Three days, 21 hours, 42 minutes and 45, wait, 44 seconds until the moment I've been waiting for ever since the World Cup ended.

The moment when those gold helmets and blue jerseys will burst out of a tunnel in Atlanta, signaling the end of the dog days of summer and the commencement of the best four months of the year - college football season.

It seems the only thing that can get me more excited for the 2006 season would be a preseason poll. And not just any preseason poll, but the preseason edition of Greg Arbogast's completely biased, largely unresearched and partially credible College Football Top 10 Plus 1 Rankings.

Notre Dame - Did you honestly expect me to put somebody else in the top spot? This isn't even a biased ranking. Quinn, D-Walk, Samardzija, Rhema. Opposing defensive coordinators will be having very sleepless nights this fall.

Florida - There's a good vibe going through this state. Florida won the NCAA tournament, the Dolphins are primed to be serious contenders this year, and Florida hasn't even been hit by a hurricane ... yet.

West Virginia - Steve Slaton ran for 1,128 yards and 17 touchdowns. Pat White finished with combined totals of 1,780 yards and 15 touchdowns. Both led their school to its first BCS victory in Mountaineer history. What did you do your freshman year?

Texas - Back up just one second. Vince Young wasn't the only player on the Longhorns? And you're saying that he won't be on the team this year?

French "Football" Team - After Zidane's headbutt against Italy, the French proved they might have learned a little something about American football. Who says France is anti-globalization?

Ohio State - They would be higher, but I just can't stand that pompous little vest Jim Tressel wears. I'm already praying for a Fiesta Bowl rematch.

LSU - Which Tiger team will show up this season? The one which was pasted in the SEC championship game 34-14 by Georgia? Or the one which destroyed Miami 40-3 in the Peach Bowl - with their backup quarterback?

Louisville - Brian Brohm is the best quarterback you've never heard of. Michael Bush (no relation to Reggie) is the best running back you've never heard of. They play in the Big East. Any more questions?

Oklahoma - Adrian Peterson is the best college football player everyone completely forgot about. After rushing for 1,925 yards and making a serious run for the Heisman his freshman year, Peterson succumbed to injury and obscurity last season. Even without ex-quarterback Rhett Bonehead, expect Peterson to reappear this year.

South Carolina - No preseason ranking is complete without a dark horse team. Steve Spurrier was a disaster in the NFL, but boy can he ever coach college football.

USC - On the plus side for the Trojans, USC is leading the nation in ... sexual assaults.

Disagree with the rankings? Send me an e-mail with your set of rankings.