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Sophomore Slump

Analise Lipari | Tuesday, September 5, 2006

It’s official.

For the class of 2009, the time to sit back and relax is gone. We’re big kids now – zToys-R-Us commercials aside – and we’re no longer the little frosh we once were.

At this point, we’re supposed to know it all. How do you find the Stepan Center? Take a left at Flanner and head straight for that giant golf ball. Is it safe to jump into the lakes? Not if you’d like to keep your molecular makeup intact. Will we beat USC this year? Obviously, and by 50 points (knock on wood).

With our vast expertise of all things collegiate, the expectations are high. We have to step up and live up to what will be our best year yet.

To the rest of the world, however, sophomore year may not seem so big. In their eyes, we have, as Jane Austen might say, “little but our charms to recommend us.” Lowly freshmen last year, we have yet to prove ourselves. Even the word “sophomoric” tells us that our knowledge isn’t so spiffy after all.

It’s true that life gets a little harder for us Niners this time around the Bend. Getting lost is officially inexcusable, as is not knowing how to use your ID card in any and all of its faculties. Writing a paper with a nonexistent thesis will grant you, rather than the kind words and welcome rewrite of yesteryear, an almighty F. And if you don’t know where Legends is at this point, even I, a self-confessed hermit, will refuse to help you.

Will Organic Chemistry or Intro to Lit Studies defeat us? Will we be seduced by our now-inherent napping tendencies into skipping class for three days straight (as incredibly tempting as that sounds)? Or will we not?

To quote “Legends of the Hidden Temple,” all I have to say is that “the choice is yours, and yours alone.” This year, like the one before it and those to come, is what we make it. Cheesy graduation-esque sentiments aside, we do know quite a bit more than we did this time last year. Using that wealth of information can only make us that much more prepared to deal with the college world.

For example, we know not to get pudding at the dining hall, because it is the definition of all that is “sketchy.” There will never be a time when it is not sketchy. Would a wide-eyed freshman know that? Of course not. Sophomores are also all the wiser when it comes to which freshman classes are easy, and which classes leave you with the desire to jump into a bottomless pit. Impressive, to be sure.

So let’s go, class of ’09. We’re here, we’re ready, and we’re pretty flipping sweet.

It’s official.