I would like to preface this by saying that it will be the first and last time I will ever make any addition to the most over-publicized athlete in the history of sports. I apologize, but this one was just too hard to let go.
Two days ago a new series of children's books aimed at providing good role models for America's youth was released by Terrell Owens.
The story line follows a young ... wait, what?
Terrell Owens, the same man who once pulled a Sharpie out of his sock after scoring a touchdown, will now be signing books for kindergarten kids?
Believe it or not, it's true. BenBella Books has signed the Cowboys' wide receiver to deliver a series of illustrated stories that will teach children lessons that T.O. has apparently taken all of his 32 years to fully grasp.
Owens started drumming up the idea in his rookie season while with the 49ers but needed to do some additional research before he felt he was ready to begin the writing process.
The first set of books are titled "Little T Learns to Share," "Little T Learns What Not to Say" and "Little T Learns to Apologize" - honestly, this isn't a joke. Rumor has it that Owens is currently working on the fourth installment which will be called "Little T Learns about Painkillers," a piece that is sure to render those annoying childproof pill bottles obsolete. (Okay, so maybe that one was a little bit of a joke, but not too far of a stretch.)
Little T's lessons in the future may also include, but are certainly not limited to: enjoying the outdoors (maybe with a few driveway crunches and curls), playing well with others (just not on the sidelines) and getting a good night's rest (especially in the middle of offensive team meetings).
Owens is currently partnered up with college friend Courtney Parker and illustrator Todd Harris in the project, but once this craze takes off, everyone is sure to want a piece of the action - Keyshawn Johnson, Dennis Rodman ... they are even talking with O.J. about a Halloween special.
It's only a matter of time before Drew Rosenhaus manages to wiggle his way into the series as well. Perhaps as the evil money-grubbing Dr. Drew whose negative influence Little T has to overcome to learn his lesson. Hey, anything to make an extra buck, right Drew?
With all of the wonderful children's literature around today - Dr. Seuss, Roald Dahl, Stephen King - why would anyone ever consider having their own flesh and blood raised by such a monster?
It's really tough to say, all I know is that this avid reader will be sticking with Clifford.
