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Dude, Where’s My Bike?

Mary Kate Malone | Friday, January 18, 2008

Fortunately, my Clover Ridge apartment was spared during the barrage of burglaries over winter break.

My beloved pink bike, however, was not.

The ultra-bright two-wheeler was stolen sometime between Dec. 18 and Jan. 15 from a bike rack outside Hesburgh Library.

You might call me careless for leaving the Pink Lady outside the library for such a long period of time. But who would have thought someone would take what wasn’t theirs with Touchdown Jesus watching?

The saddest part of my story happened Wednesday, when I spotted my bike leaning against a construction fence near Stonehenge. I ran to it, hopped on board, and rode off. With a full day of classes ahead and no lock for the bike, I decided to “hide” it behind a fence post near Alumni Hall. When I returned a few hours later, it was gone.

It’s only mildly flattering that my bike is such a coveted item. Though rusty and old, it boasts an extra large seat, giant handlebars, and even an odometer. I broke the news to my mother, who loaned me the bike, yesterday. She’s upset (it was a special present from my always well-intentioned father when she turned 40), and I’m in a lot of trouble. 

So please, whoever took my bike, bring it back. I work (some would say live), at the Observer office in the basement of South Dining Hall. Park the bike outside and turn yourself in. I promise I won’t put a mug shot of you on the front page.

This might be a futile plea, but I’ve had good luck in the past when my belongings have been lost or stolen. For example, when I was 14, I unknowingly dropped my wallet in our local mall’s parking lot. I had been saving up my babysitting money for months and had journeyed to downtown Columbus for a big day of spending at City Center Mall. I didn’t realize my wallet was missing until a few hours later, and when I returned to the parking lot to look for it, the blue and black wallet was nowhere in sight. I was teary-eyed the whole way home from the mall.

But, as it turns out, very nice people had found my wallet. Noticing my high school ID card inside, they kindly mailed it to Bishop Watterson High School the very next day. I was called to the front office, and there was my wallet in a manila envelope with a note from “Some Friends” who had wanted to be sure it got back to me.

So here’s the deal, bike-snatcher. Be a good friend and give the Pink Lady back. Pretty please?