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The true silverware thief

Letter to the Editor | Wednesday, January 30, 2008

As a senior, I have endured four years of being lumped in with our so-called “thieving” student body. I’m no thief…except for that time I stole a traffic cone and put it in the middle of the road. And that time that I took a “No Trespassing” sign while trespassing (just for the irony). Oh, and I totally saw a girl last year snag a nutcracker from North Dining Hall during the Christmas season. During Christmas! For shame. If you are reading this, you know who you are. Jesus is watching.

Exceptions aside, every time that yearly summary of dining hall “theft” is published in the paper, I cringe. No more. It is time the truth came to light. My freshman year, I worked in SDH on the dishline. During my time spent plugging my nose and sifting through other people’s refuse, I noticed something interesting. First of all, what’s with people throwing away whole pieces of fruit? While they do make good projectiles for dishline food fights, I think that’s a little wasteful. Oh, and when baked potatoes hit your face they do some serious damage.

But I digress. What I noticed was that while frantically trying to keep up with the flow of trays, lots – and I mean lots – of silverware got thrown away. I think I know where all 12,960 spoons went, as well as any forks and knives. I’m sure that this accounts for almost all of the lost utensils, and maybe even some of the bowls, plates, and cups. Now as for the chairs and tables, I’m not so sure. But hey, I guess theoretically those could get lost down the dishline as well.

I guess my point, Food Services, is that when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you.

Scott Deeney


Keough Hall

Jan. 29