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Save sex for marriage

Letter to the Editor | Monday, March 17, 2008

Recent Letters to the Editor have brought up the issue of sexuality and its proper expression in our lives. I know many readers will disagree with the following assertion, yet despite its controversial nature, I’ve found that it makes the most sense and is the most helpful for living a contented life: Sex is designed for marriage. When two people are publicly and privately committed to one another in the bond of marriage, when they have the stability needed to create their own family, when their love has been found to be lasting and undying, then and only then does sex live up to its full potential.

Despite this, sex certainly remains very pleasurable outside of marriage. Yet without the lifelong commitment, love and openness to children that marriage provides, it is cheapened. To a much lesser degree, it is a bit like opening up your Christmas gift on Dec. 22, or eating lots of dessert before dinner. Christmas gifts are pleasurable to open early, yet they offer more pleasure and more meaning when opened at Christmas. Dessert is very tasty when eaten before dinner, but much more satisfying at the end. Granted, sex is much more important than Christmas presents and dessert.

A bit of reflection shows that sex is designed for three purposes: to give pleasure to the couple, to create deep bonds between the couple, and to bring about the conception of children. Any sexual activity outside of marriage, whether pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, masturbation, etc., cheats one of the true meaning of sex. It may seem hard to believe, but sex between two married people who love one another and have opened their hearts and homes to children really is better, more meaningful and more satisfying than sex away from marriage. Of course if this is true, this puts us unmarried college students in quite the dilemma. Do we fight the heroic struggle of saving our sexuality for our future spouse, knowing the rewards will be great, or do we cheat by enjoying it now, either a bit or a lot? To do the former is in no way easy, but neither is accomplishing other lofty goals like getting into Notre Dame or winning a national championship. I know this letter won’t change everyone’s mind, but at least be open to the ideas that sex really is best when in the context of marriage and that saving yourself for your spouse really is worth the challenge.

Chris Spellman


off campus

Mar. 13

  • João Pedro Santos

    This viewpoint is so judgemental.