Three Saint Mary's students delivered punch lines during a stand-up comedy night hosted by the Senior Gift and Quarter's Campaigns at Dalloway's Coffee House Tuesday night.
Senior Erin Brady, freshman Laurel Jabbers and sophomore Mallory Price joked about subjects including backup plans if majors don't work out, drinking, public intoxication, celebrities and the stereotype that female Notre Dame students dislike Saint Mary's women enough to plot against them for stealing potential boyfriends.
Jabbers, the vice president of the Class of 2011, opened the show by saying she is used to performing in comedy clubs and was going to have to censor her show so as to not offend the audience, which included a few children.
"I'm going to keep it clean because there are kids here," she said.
She said she has thought of a couple of backup plans in case her major in social work does not lead to a job after graduation.
Possibilities include driving a party bus or training an Olympic diver.
"Random? Yes. Fun? Even more so," Jabbers said.
She said she has also been told she should consider a career as a stand-up comic on the side, which is why her friends signed her up for the event.
"I told my mom I want to be a stand-up comic and she said 'Well that's going to save us about 90 thousand dollars in the end,'" Jabbers joked. "I told her I was going to do it at Saint Mary's and she said 'Damn, that doesn't work.'"
Brady then took the stage and introduced herself with what she has come to call one of her taglines.
"I'm Erin Brady," she said. "Yes, Brady, like the Bunch and the Quinn."
She said she's used that line on many occasions to mixed responses.
"It really smoothes things over with the lunch ladies in the dining hall, but not the cops at Notre Dame when you're getting arrested for public intoxication," she said.
Brady said she loves, lives and feeds off of celebrity gossip and hoped to be on VH1's celebrity pop culture trivia game one day until she found out that doing math was a part of the application process.
She said she finds it interesting when gossip magazines and television shows report on the behaviors of celebrities like Lindsey Lohan.
"I think it's funny that the media is so obsessed with her," she said. "They'll [report that a] 21-year-old is drinking and hooking up with random guys and I'm like yeah that's so weird... I'm so glad no one is taping me."
Price closed the half-hour long show with jokes about the environment at Saint Mary's and her annoyance at the way people act in certain situations.
When Saint Mary's is recruiting new students, they send pictures of the beautiful campus, Price said.
"When they send you the pictures they don't tell you about the crazy animals on campus," she said.
She told a story of how she saw two deer as she was walking across campus one day and as she mentioned them to her friend on the phone the deer perked up, seemed to recognize that she was talking about them and then proceeded to charge towards her.
"When was the last time you heard of deadly assault by a deer," she said.
Price offered the explanation that Notre Dame girls sneak onto campus to feed the deer cocaine to prevent Saint Mary's girls from stealing their boyfriends.
She also said she gets annoyed when people from affluent neighborhoods drive into the inner city or poorer areas and begin making derogatory comments.
"It's like poor people don't come into suburbia and say 'Oh my God, that girl right there looks like Regina George from the movie Mean Girls. She just pulled out her blackberry and think she's going to ruin someone's life with a three-way call,'" she said
The event served as a way to spread information about the campaigns, which raise money for both a class' senior gift. The seniors will give the gift to the College upon their graduation and add funds to offer students scholarships, senior gift chair Beth McKevitt said.
"After hosting Karaoke Idol last fall we found that sponsoring different events on campus and teaching students the importance of philanthropy to the College we've gotten much more of a student response," McKevitt said.
