Letters to the Editor | Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I, like most of the Notre Dame community, eagerly anticipate the 71st and 72nd Viewpoint articles that will be published tomorrow focusing on the controversy surrounding the recent performance of the Vagina Monologues on our pure campus. This is a very important topic that needs to be discussed, for we all know that this issue significantly affects our daily lives.
For example, few know that Eve Ensler herself orchestrated the suicide bomber attack 8 years ago on the U.S.S. Cole off the coast of Yemen. Also, it is not commonly known that the skit titled “My Angry Vagina” single-handedly brought down the housing industry, which sent this country spiraling into a recession. Clearly something must be done and we must act now! So what can you do? How can you stop Eve Bin Laden and her angry vagina? It’s simple. All Notre Dame students are eligible to vote on May 6th in the Indiana Presidential Primary, as long as they have yet to vote in any other primary or caucus this year.
Though the Republican race is pretty much over, Indiana will for the first time in 40 years play a crucial role in settling the Democratic race for the nomination. Pennsylvania seems to be leaning Sen. Clinton’s way, while Sen. Obama will probably enjoy victory in North Carolina. This likely scenario leaves Indiana as the largest state remaining up for grabs.
Both candidates understand the importance of this primary, which explains the countless number of campaign stops that will surely take place in our area during the next 4-5 weeks. You can find a copy of the registration form at Indiana’s Secretary of State website (http://www.in.gov/sos/elections/). After filling out the form, you can send it to the specified address yourself or contact me (email@example.com) about campus drop-off spots. The deadline to register is next Monday April 7.
Remember: By registering to vote, you are one step closer to stopping Ensler’s Fourth Reich. Act now or else don’t be surprised when you find out that Vaginasburg, Oklahoma has been declared the new nation’s capital.