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You know what really grinds my gears?

Letters to the Editor | Tuesday, April 22, 2008

After almost four years of observation, wonder and silent judgment, and in thanks to the many contributions of close friends (either by idea or example), I present to you a Peter Griffin-inspired rendition of … “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?” … when people have an unnecessary sense of entitlement … when people make out on the track in Rolfs (at 11 a.m. … that’s right, you just got called out) …when people unnecessarily abbrev … the Hammes Bookstore … when girls carry those ridiculously huge and wonderfully impractical bags into the dining hall while getting their food (seriously? get the hell out of my way!) … obliviousness and inconsideration …when people cut the line at Fever (party foul) … professors who unnecessarily bring their politics into the classroom … people who chew with their mouth open … reality shows that portray how pathetic people are (Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, the Gauntlet, Pick-Up Artist, the Hills, etc.) … when people pretend not to remember talking to you at the bar the night before … when the Observer prints the same crossword two days in a row … when professors (or administrators, for that matter) make attendance a requirement (if I can learn just as much by not coming to class, upon whom is that a reflection?) … the bureaucracy of SAO … PigTostal … that little undercover Indiana State Excise policeman with the backpack and backwards hat … Hillary Clinton … people who call for the prohibition of alcohol at Notre Dame … when people care more about their taxes than they do about justice, humanity and responsibility … arrogance … fake baking (yet, I strangely appreciate the effort involved in presenting a perfectly tanned and groomed body for the purpose of donning a Borat thong) … girls who misrepresent themselves to get a guy to like them … when people care more about the Vagina Monologues and the morality of alcohol consumption than they do about China, Tibet, Sudan, the Iraq War, the next Potus, the failing health care “system,” people denying the Holocaust, the environment, etc … drivers who don’t use their turn signals when turning … when guys grunt/hiss/generally make noise when they’re working out (seriously? We know you’re lifting bud, keep it together) … waiting lists … straight-brimmed hats … the word “Pink” on clothing (for that matter, guys who wear pink as well) … every application that you can think of for the idea “someone else will take care of it” (e.g. the dishes) … when people initiate a conversation with you and then proceed to talk endlessly about themselves … and lastly, when we forget the experience of things that have fallen by the wayside or don’t get to experience them at all (Rally in the Alley, Budweiser sponsoring Antostal, Boat Club, Corby’s actually being on Corby’s, St. Patrick’s Day at College Park, Dis-O as it used to be, SYR’s in dorms, the flowerbed entrance to ND, Fever being cheap, a National Championship in football, funny team names for Bookstore, actually finding a parking spot on campus)…

And that, ahem, is what really grinds my gears.

Tim Loftus


off campus

April 16