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Balls Everywhere!

Jay Fitzpatrick | Friday, October 10, 2008

When one of my roommate’s brothers came to visit recently, we decided we needed to do something a little bit different. We needed something new, something fresh, something unique.

It all started Thursday night. It was your typical night: “The Office,” Rock Band, a beer ball, someone getting kicked off Notre Dame’s campus for life and then arrested (his name is Dan and he has hazel eyes. If you have any information about it, please let me know. We don’t know what happened).

And after such a normal, almost banal, night, we decided to spice things up on Friday. After playing some beer pong, something magical – something Hall of Fame worthy – happened.

The visiting brother (let’s just call him Mike) told us about this great new game he had just come up with. And thus, Balls Everywhere! was born.

The game seems simple, but let’s be honest. This ain’t your father’s drinking game.

As many people as fit in the room play split into two teams and start with their hands under the table on opposite ends. A large amount of ping pong balls are required (at least 30) in a container. We recommend buying the multi-pack from Wal-Mart.

Turn the container upside down in the middle of the table, and have one person lift and yell the game’s name.

Chaos ensues.

Teams try their hardest to shoot balls into a cup on the opposing team’s side. As many people can shoot at one time as long as someone on your team is chugging. The game continues until six shots have been made in one cup.

It is best to use an enclosed area (a room with four full walls or a make-shift screen over any doorways is the best).

Beyond these simple regulations, there is only one more rule: There are no rules.

Players can dive on the ground, swat balls to their side, and do whatever it takes to get the W. In fact, competitors may go as far as to strike an opponent right in the nose if need be.

“Play to win, win to play” is the simple mantra of Balls Everywhere!

Perhaps the greatest part of this drinking game is that it should instead be called a drinking sport. This is not the sort of thing you can leisurely do one evening as a precursor to a night on the town – steam showers are a required part of any post-game plans.

If nothing else, Balls Everywhere! goes to show the wonder of the American educational system. A brain trust of college seniors and recent college graduates put their heads together and created something so beautiful that it brought a tear to my eye.

If you want to know more about the next great college activity, just go ahead and visit the game’s official Web site, ballseverywhere.com.