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Thursday, April 18, 2024
The Observer

Undecided voter

I still don't know who I'm going to vote for.

If you don't know either, raise your hand. Now look around the dining hall to see how many other people haven't decided. Now feel foolish for a minute because you're the only one raising your hand.

Granted, I take just as long to fill out my MLB all-star ballots in June, so it could just be voter indecision. But I can't decide between Barack Obama and John McCain. It's not a matter of economic policy, foreign relations or the aesthetics of the vice-presidential candidates. Campaigning doesn't do it for me. I know they're lying the whole time. What I want to see is intelligence and reason behind the lies that tell me a candidate will perform well in office.

I'm still waiting for a definite sign.

I've thought in passing about writing in an outsider for president. Brett Favre and Lil' Wayne, obviously, were my first choices. But what about others who have previous experience as a world leader, even if they did so in a fictional setting? Here are my favorite fictional presidents/world leaders who I think would do an admirable job leading our country through its current mess.

uJed Bartlett, "The West Wing"

You gotta love the morality of this Vermonter whose relative signed the Declaration of Independence. He always knows the correct course of action. Plus, I love the idea of a president who takes time out of running the country to debate the proper procedure of cooking a Thanksgiving turkey on the Butterball hot line. The fact that he's a domer doesn't hurt.

uAndrew Shepherd, "The American President"

He's popular, he's smart and he's a good-looking single father. He realizes the country needs to reduce fossil fuels and get guns off the streets. But he's human - he falls in love and acts on his impulses with Sydney Ellen Wade. And any guy who has the resources he does (the White House, Camp David, etc.) and uses them to full effect gets points in my book.

uThomas Whitmore, "Independence Day"

Unlike Bush, who pulled a cheap publicity stunt with his "Mission Accomplished" aircraft carrier landing, Whitmore flew a mission that saved American government leaders from sure destruction. Whitmore also has the rhetoric to rival Obama. Remember his speech in the early morning hours of July 4? Spine-tingling.

uJames Marshall, "Air Force One"

I admire Marshall for not wimping out and hopping in the escape pod, and he clearly knows how to deal with terrorists. In selecting a female vice president, he shows he can help break gender barriers. Also important: he did his best to shield himself from the score of the Notre Dame-Michigan game so he could watch it on the plane. That's the kind of dedication I want leading my country.