I write this on behalf of the Vermin of Carroll hall, who so recently had their dignity challenged by Mimi Disipio, a Sophomore in Pangborn Hall. When asked an ambiguous question, posed by a low-level member of the Observer, she voiced the opinion that Carroll Hall is the most irrelevant dorm on campus. Ha! Upon reading this comical statement, my fellow Vermin and I realized that it may not be as obvious to everyone else on campus, why Carroll Hall is near the top of the relevance food chain.
Ms. Disipio argues that Carroll is irrelevant because "it 's out there by itself. " If this argument held any water, then we could effectively regard Yoda as irrelevant to the original Star Wars trilogy. Faulty, this logic is. To the outsider, the distance from Carroll to South Quad probably seems daunting. "They should get you golf carts! " or "Do you ever get lost on your way to class? " are common and cheeky questions that we must endure and pretend to find funny and original time after time. But if everyone had to walk an extra five minutes to and from the dining hall, they wouldn 't have to pretend to feel guilty about going to the soft-serve machine anymore. Our location on campus is actually far more convenient than it may appear. With adjacent outdoor basketball and volleyball courts, the Carroll Country Club on the Lake encourages an active lifestyle for the residing Vermin.
A quick trip into the dorm will reveal doubles the size of your super quad, and12-foot ceilings. Our location also allows us to be the Notre Dame ambassadors to another area college, the College of Saint Mary 's. With our dorm strategically placed between the middle of campus and Saint Mary 's, Belles don 't fear the distance to campus, and often stop to enjoy the welcoming company of our fine gentlemen. Finally, let 's talk about signature events. With the arrival of every cold December, comes the warm and festive celebration of Christmas, Carroll style (I think we all remember the embarrassing ink that Pangborn got about their secular display of Christmas spirit last Winter). "A Carroll Christmas, " the hall event with the third highest budget awarded by the Hall President 's Council, includes performances from choirs on campus, Christmas treats, a visit from Santa Claus, and the lighting of the tallest Christmas tree on campus (as a side note, our hall event is never canceled due to bad weather).
This fine University was founded on the idea of Mary giving birth to the Messiah, so clearly, any allegations of irrelevance directed towards the dorm deemed worthy enough to host such a celebration are in fact irrelevant themselves. In conclusion, and after much consideration, I not only place Carroll on the "list of relevant dorms, " I posit that Carroll Hall is the greatest of all dorms on Our Lady 's campus, and any arguments against this proven fact are based solely on pangs of jealousy and spite. Go Vermin!
Patrick Berry
sophomore
Carroll Hall
Oct. 2
