Two to tango
Letter to the Editor | Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Dear Melissa (who’s hooked-up with six guys this semester),
It takes two to tango. If you truly “love to kiss boys, “then perhaps a much larger portion of the initial blame lies with you than your letter recognized. If you love to eat ice cream and despair when you find yourself opening the freezer, don’t blame Ben and Jerry’s.
Your greatest problem lies with the lack of attention that you, the “victim” of the hook-ups, receive from those ex-flings. I’ll confess, though, that I’m not quite sure how much of a relationship you expect to have established with a kiss. Do you even remember their full names?
Probably not. But that’s a problem which arises as a result of hooking-up without having established a relationship – there’s no relationship.
What disturbs me is that, though you admit equal blame, you seem to place responsibility with your hook-ees rather than yourself. Yes, they haven’t talked to you since the event, although you reluctantly admit in your letter that a few have. In defense of the silent, though, you’ve likewise failed to initiate the desired discourse. Did you call their cell phones? Your defense was a broken phone, so you lost most of the numbers which you had obtained – but what about the ones you haven’t lost, did you call them? And of the ones you did lose, did you bother to spend three seconds to check a Facebook account?
No, you just chalk-off the male gender as hopeless, write us up as another lost cause when you write, “I doubt you would answer even if I could call you” (p.s. – you can). And as a dude, I’m just sick and tired of being portrayed as a criminal every time I do something that apparently falls in with a facet of the “hook-up culture. “
On that note, I was a kissing booth for Halloween with a warning that read “Too hot to handle. Contains nuts.” I’d have written, “Warning: Won’t make exceptional effort to contact you after we kiss. This is just meant to be fun for both of us,” but I assumed that those were obvious assumptions for something that was clearly meant for entertainment and little else.
I think you reached the right conclusion – if you’re looking for friends, it’s probably not a great idea to make-out with the other person within the first few hours you’ve met him or her. Sorry about the hobby. But I think that you need to reflect on your reasoning for the decision; don’t blame those mean old boys for not initiating the conversation which you too shy away from.