Letter to the Editor | Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Students of Notre Dame, I have seen the light, the beacon of eternal hope that Ms. Michelle Fordice lit for me and my peers in the Inside Column “Fashion at ND. Or Not”?(Feb. 10). For so many years I have been marching around this dark cold world dressed no better than a slovenly mountain climbing gardener. In my foolish, self absorbed 19-year-old mind I completely forgot that I am the center of everyone’s attention. How could I have been so inconsiderate when I dressed myself in the morning? How dare I offend the eyes of those around me when I walk to class charading as a sherpa with my poor jeans stuffed visciously into my Ugg boots. What was I thinking wearing those sweatpants? Damn you sweatpants! Damn you and your false promises of comfort and your whispers of warmth. All the long days of my life I have been disgracing myself, my family, and my friends .
Never again shall I dare to join the drones as they walk to DeBartolo in their North Face jackets and their classless boots. What right have I to wear mountainous paraphenalia? South Bend is probably the fifth flattest place on the planet, I say “If you can’t see the mountain, don’t act like you can.” I am trading in my blasphemous fleece for classic camo, with a military flare, and turning in my Uggs for a pointed toe and some extra height and by God if I fall, I will fall in glory!
P.S. I would like to take this time to issue a public apology to my legs. I’m sorry I turned you into stumps, you deserve better.