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Films to Kill the Valentine’s Spirit

Szymon Rzyner | Friday, February 13, 2009

Romantic comedies, the prime genre of Valentine’s Day. Some will be forced to watch them, trapped in their cuteness, their witty banter and picturesque love stories. The rest will be sitting alone, eating ice cream, huddled in Snuggies, crying themselves to sleep. Instead why not watch films that are relatively unwatchable in romantic settings? It could do wonders for helping to avoid thinking about the crippled self-worth that goes hand in hand with this holiday.??

Passion of the ChristWith Lent quickly approaching, what better film to enjoy on Valentine’s Day than Mel Gibson’s vision of Jesus’ last hours?  With the dialogue solely in subtitles and numerous scenes filled with brutal beatings, it will be impossible to think of romantic abandonment while reliving Good Friday, one of the more incorrect names given to religious holidays.Requiem for a Dream?A brilliant film on the topic of drug abuse and the consequences it brings. With a climax that is guaranteed to leave you shocked and ever-so-slightly disturbed, feeling lonely will be out of the question, as will doing anything else.  Terminator 2 : Judgment DayOne of the more memorable action films from the 80’s, Terminator 2 tells the touching love story of a boy and his robot. Fantastic action sequences, Arnold at his prime, and an evil, shape shifting, liquid metal adversary sent from the future to destroy John Connor. A John Connor who will be played by the recently criticized Christian Bale in the upcoming Terminator film. Also very important to note, no girlfriend would ever watch this film. Silence of the LambsThere is a subtle tension between Clarice and the insane Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter, but nothing to emulate.  The sexy dance of Ted Levine’s serial-killer Buffalo Bill may spark a pang of longing, a real treat for the ladies.  An Inconvenient Truth?What better thing to enjoy during the day of St. Valentine, the patron of love and relationships, than a filmed lecture on the topic of climate change. Al Gore’s strong baritone warns of the impending doom that will be caused by humanities lack of respect for mother earth. It’s an educational experience that helped to solidify the “green” movement’s place in the mainstream and won Gore a Nobel prize due to his super-serious approach.??Pan’s Labyrinth?Perhaps the worst of possible date movies, based on the experiences of a certain Scene writer, should be watched, but not around anyone in whom there lies romantic interest. A visually stunning story of post-Spanish Civil War Spain, shows the experiences of a young girl and her family.  Strange mythological creatures, and unnecessarily graphic torture and beatings will allow the viewer to realize there’s worse things than loneliness.