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Superpower showdown

Letter to the Editor | Monday, February 23, 2009

In response to Jonathan Miller’s Feb. 18th argument that telekinesis is irrefutably the superior superpower, I would like to submit my opinion that the ability to control time is far superior to any other power (including telekinesis). I feel that your portrayal of telekinesis is rather extreme. The greatest flaw of your argument is the magnitude of the powers described. Moving objects with your mind must require knowledge of each atom and what is connected to it. Your talk of moving objects (specifically, removing your foe’s organs) begins to sound not like telekinesis and more like teleportation.

What I feel is the greatest flaw of your argument, however, is your omission of no doubt one of the greatest possible powers, time control. It may simply be your preference to move objects rather than stop time, but, just like telekinesis, time control can mimic other less worthy powers. Super speed can be mimicked by starting and stopping time rapidly while you move, strength by stopping time while you work out, and invisibility by simply stopping time while you perform whatever malicious deeds you like. As for taking down bad guys, the ability to stop time would also stop people in the middle of their motions. This would make epic battles between nemeses much less epic for you, but victory would no doubt be assured.

I know that every person is entitled to his opinion, and that the argument between all the superpowers will not be resolved by words; so, Jonathan, once we both get our wishes, I’ll meet you out in Stepan Fields to settle this once and for all.

Oliver Chmell

freshman

Morrissey

Feb. 23