Things to do before you graduate
Matt Brown | Friday, September 25, 2009
As the years begin to slip softly by, I find myself growing older, but not up. I look back on my life and wonder what it all really means. Did I bring joy to those around me? Was I able to help a friend in need? Have I climbed to the top of enough buildings on campus?
We spend four years here at the great University of Notre Dame and by golly we have an obligation to make them un-freakin-forgettable. And so I give you a list of mellifluous things to do before you graduate. Take it or leave it. Mix it and match it. I give you the power, and with great power comes great responsibility … don’t suck.
Start small; it’s obligatory. Honestly, it’s as easy as an easy bake oven. If it takes you longer than 15 seconds to get to the top, shame on you sir, shame.
Climb the JACC
A more exciting option. The sweeping panoramic vista will knock you off your feet, transporting you to another world. This is a place where the ground is slightly bouncy and slick with dew; where air smells sweeter and colors are more vibrant; where even in the midst of the hellish winter, birds caress you with gentle melodies. And I’m pretty sure you can hear the angelic host rise up in song.
The Hesburgh Challenge
Yeah, I said it. Start at the top, work your way down. You can’t hide in the bathroom, nervous Nellie. Instead find a spot nestled amongst the books to relieve your thirst. Remember it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Paint yourself for a football game
There is zero percent reason not to do this. You are in college. You are supposed to do silly things. I hear body paint is very slimming.
Cigars at the Main Steps
Fellas, this one’s for you. Light up with Mary, shoot the breeze with the mother of our Lord, have some bro time with the namesake of the University. I recommend Arturo Fuentes or Romeo y Julietas. Gentlemen, lets not skimp, this is Mary we’re talking about.
Put a Bike in a Tree
Ah, but can you get it higher than 30 feet?
Get on top of South Dining Hall
Just think of all that delicious food laid out below you. Unlike North Dining Hall, food is not hidden away in secret rooms, creating a hide and seek game from hell. After a long hard day pretending to study the last thing you want to do is hunt your food like wild game on the savannah. Grappling hook. Go go Gadget legs. Really really ridiculously good jumping ability. Doesn’t matter, make it happen. Rule No. 76: No excuses play like a champion.
Run across the Lake
Normally only possible for Jesus, but thanks to this great University being our own personal slice of Antarctica, you can feel the power.
Reflection Pool on Home Gameday
The band marches by at about 9:15, grab your pool floaty (two bucks at Wal-Mart) and your Speed-O and come on over. ND is undefeated at home (2-0) while the faithful have flocked to the pool for an “hour of reflection” … come one come all. I’ll be there next week.
If these are not your personal cup of tea I have enclosed a short additional list for you viewing pleasure:
Eat at least three pizzas from Reckers in one sitting. Drink in as many girls’ dorms as possible in one night. Climb a tree on God Quad. Fisher Regatta. Any dorm event. Eat 10 junior bacon cheeseburgers from Wendy’s. Swing on Duck Island. Stargaze on the golf course. Saran-wrap someone to their bed. Soap Stonehenge. Complain about the weather. The possibilities are endless.