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Mythical Match-Ups

Nick Anderson, Matt Brown, Eric Prister and Szymon Ryzner | Friday, October 30, 2009

Miscellaneous

Godzilla def. Hellhound
Godzilla blasted his way to the elite eight using superior firepower to vanquish the Hellhound from this mortal plane.  
 

After being forced to field questions all Fall Break as to whether he truly deserved his No. 1 seed, Godzilla came out firing quickly reducing the arena to a molten glass surface with a tremendous display of laser beamage. The extreme temperature and harsh environment, however, did little to slow the hellhound as it closed in on Godzilla with a wolfish smile. The Hellhound leapt at Godzilla’s throat and as he was about to latch onto the windpipe, Godzilla whipped his head to the side and crunched down on the meaty morsel. “He burned a little on the way down,” Godzilla said, “but it tasted like success.”
 

Predator def. Gargoyle
Predator once again utilized his advanced technology to slice the competition.
The alien metal that makes up Predator’s blades proved to be extremely effective against the Gargoyle’s stony hide, the first time a hole has been shown in the rock beast’s solid defense. The Predator used his bladed disc to shear off a wing from the diving Gargoyle, rushed the site of the landing and made short work of the stunned building ornament with his arm blades. Removing his mask, the Predator stood proud in the middle of the field challenging all comers.

Folklore

Paul Bunyan
Paul Bunyan has yet to break a sweat. After two first round matches without a scratch, the fierce lumberjack breezed through to the elite eight after the gremlin and werewolf were both destroyed in the previous round.  “I’m pretty disappointed so far,” admitted Bunyan, “I sharpened my axe for this. Babe even came to show her support. She wants to see a little competition.” When asked about his next opponent, the Sasquatch, the flannel-cloaked fighter’s mood remained sullen. “He hides in the tree. I chop down trees. What do you expect to happen?” roared the mountain of a man between bites of his flapjacks.

Sasquatch def. the Leprechaun
A fine mist rolled over the arena as the Leprechaun awoke center field in the same clothes as the night before. Sober for the first time in the tournament, he suffered a wee bit o’ hangover following his fighting and drinking binge. The sasquatch, who’s presence at his previous matches has been reported but not confirmed, remained a mysterious being, nothing more than quick movement and strong smells in the forest. After several hours of search for his misplaced pot of gold, the leprechaun was reported missing. Witnesses claimed he had gone into the trees muttering about the night before. After thoroughly examining the end of the rainbow, the leprechaun’s disappearance was attributed to the Sasquatch.

Literary

Merlin def. the Balrog
Taking a page out of his fellow-wizard’s magical book, Merlin did his best Gandalf impression by knocking off the top-seeded Balrog and sending the fiery demon to its doom.
Merlin first did some lightning-fast spell-work and moved the field of battle to the top of a cliff. The Balrog had no choice but to follow and placed itself perilously near the edge of the cliff. Merlin then forcefully stuck his staff in the ground, breaking the cliff and sending the Balrog toppling to the depths below.
With the lightness of a man 200 years younger, Merlin floated down the cliff’s edge and stabbed the Balrog with his conjured sword, ending the championship run of the Literary bracket’s favorite.

The Dragon def. Grendel
As he has done so often before, the Dragon used an aerial attack to neutralize the ferocity of Grendel, who was unable to land consistent blows on the flying lizard.
The Dragon took off immediately as the match began, circling his opponent and waiting for the right time to strike. The impatient Grendel became frustrated, and attempted to climb the cliff to get closer to the Dragon. The path to the top of the cliff was somewhat treacherous, however, and the Dragon took advantage, catching Grendel off guard and knocking him over.
Without the benefit of his speed and quickness, Grendel was unable to overcome the fire-breath and razor-sharp talons of the Dragon, who advanced easily.

Mythology

Cerberus vs. Manticore
The battle was long, both seeds fought hard, but ultimately it was the resilient Cerberus who took home the “W.” The Manticore had the advantage of flight but Cerberus was surefooted and knew the Manticore couldn’t fly forever. The airborne assault was heavy and consistent, but with its three pairs of eyes the Cerberus never lost sight of the Manticore. Once the Manticore tired its wings, the mighty Cerberus mangled the frightful beast and on land it simply was no contest. Thus the great Cerberus, guardian of the underworld has reached the finals of the Myth bracket where it will encounter the Hydra.

Hydra vs. Sphynx
Intellect and wit weren’t enough to save the Sphinx from the plethora of craniums held by the opposition. Despite a prior knowledge of the Hydra’s weaknesses’ the Sphinx could not handle the headstrong attack of the mythical beast. The claws and fangs of the Sphinx couldn’t cut off any of the Hydra’s heads and the snappy strikes by the Hydra destroyed the Sphinx. It was quick and the winner was clear; the Hydra moves into the Myth bracket finals to challenge the unbeaten Cerberus in a showdown of the many-headed myths.  

 

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Mythical Match-ups

Nick Anderson, Matt Brown, Eric Prister and Szymon Ryzner | Friday, October 2, 2009

 Try this on for size, literary theorists. We bring you a mêlée for the ages. The Mythological Creatures Tournament will allow the most famous beasts of all time to jump out of the pages onto the battlefield and pit their strengths against one another. It brings together 65 of the most terrifying (or not so terrifying) characters from mythology, literature, folklore and other assorted formats, fighting one-on-one in a specially crafted arena which allows the more intelligent characters to play to their strengths. The arena features an open field, a dense forest and a lake which all can be utilized throughout the battle. So fill out a bracket, stay tuned for the results, and have pen and paper (or just an e-mail) ready to argue why your favorite creature should not have been upset in the first round. It’s a clash of epic proportions. Are you prepared?

The Mythology Bracket
The Mythology Bracket is one without many pushovers. Despite the Kraken’s weak showing in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films, it still retains a No. 1 ranking thanks to sheer size and strength. 
The Hydra comes in at a close second, since it has the ability to re-grow two heads for every single one it loses. And, starting with nine threatening craniums is nothing to scoff at. 
Seeded third is the Sphinx, quite possibly the most intelligent creature in the Mythology bracket. Its riddle only once topped by the great Oedipus, the Sphinx also has a history of self destruction upon being outsmarted.
If you thought the top three were terrifying, enter number four, Scylla. Scylla was but another danger on Odysseus’s 10-year trip home, and what a hazard she posed. The details of her appearance include 12 tentacles, six wolves forming her lower body, the torso and head of a female and an additional six long-necked grisly heads with extremely sharp teeth. No doubt a tough fight for the Manticore unless Pegasus or the Harpy can pull an upset. 
The Manticore on the other hand has the head of a man, a scorpion tail, body of a lion, wings and the ability to shoot poisonous spines. It is perhaps an early contender to drop the top-seeded Kraken in a later round. For clarity, the Cockatrice is a large rooster with a lizard-like tail, not a significant threat for the multidimensional Sphinx. 
As far as early bets for the first round, this bracket seems to have mostly clear winners in each of the starting battles. The Chimera v. Griffin showdown could be close since both creatures possess the ability to fly. Similarly, the closely ranked Minotaur v. Cerberus showdown should be quite brutal. The Faun and the winner of the play-in game between the Fairy and the Nymph, will likely struggle to have a strong start against some of mythology’s heaviest hitters, though don’t count out upsets in the later rounds.

The Folklore Bracket
Folklore is central to any culture, but more importantly, it contains gruesome creatures from the dark recesses of man’s imagination. After searching the globe, the most fearsome creatures were gathered for death matches of untold magnitude. The ferocity of these battles will be sung through the generations, the victors glorified and the defeated shamed along with their offspring. 
Folklore presents a strong bracket throughout, from the first to the 16th seed. Paul Bunyan, a giant of a man with the skills of a lumberjack, wields his ax as the first seed. He’ll face tough competition down the road from the second through fifth seeds; the genie, the Tiyanak, the Loch Ness Monster and the Werewolf. 
The Tiyanak, an obscure but strong competitor, represents the Philippines. While it takes the form of a fetus, there are layers to its strength. Its appearance and cry, that of a human child, disarm the opposition. Once in its grasp, the Tiyanak reverts to form, gaining super strength, and an inhuman maw with which it devours its victims. 
The competitors barely weaken as one moves down the rankings. The Yeti, Sasquatch, El Chupacabra, Boogeyman and Mermaid round out the top 10. The strengths of the middle of the rankings cover the spectrum, presenting strength, stealth, intelligence and terror. 
The Jersey Devil, Hodag, Gremlin, Leprechaun, Jackolope and Jack Frost complete the ranks. Jack Frost, an elemental force, as a 16th seed shows the undeniable depth of the tournament. The Hodag, another obscure creature, hails from the state of Wisconsin. It has the head of a frog, face of a grinning elephant, huge claws and a tail with spikes at the end.
The exciting first round matchups include the Jersey Devil and the Yeti, El Chupacabra and the Boogeyman and Sasquatch and the Mermaid. Death, destruction and chaos will be the themes of the first round all for the entertainment of the masses. 

The Literary Bracket
The Literary Bracket rivals the mythology bracket for most brute strength and may have the two most formidable top seeds, the Balrog and the Dragon. Both will be nearly impossible to defeat, since both are large, powerful and have human-like intelligence. The other top seeds, Grendel, Merlin and the Ent also have the advantage of intelligence, which makes upsets unlikely.
Notice the distinction between the 6th-seeded Vampire and the 16th-seeded Sparkly “Twilight” Vampire. One strikes fear into the heart of whomever he comes across, and the other, while blessed with super-speed and super-strength, cares more about feelings than actual aggression.
The Elf, Centaur and Dwarf are all interesting characters to watch, since their high intelligence and fighting skills will help them throughout the tournament. Their lack of size and overly powerful attacks will be their only downfalls if they have any.
The Phoenix vs. Giant matchup is one of the most interesting first-round battles. While the Giant has the size and power advantage, the Phoenix has flying ability and greater intelligence, and may be able to lure the Giant into a less advantageous fighting location.
Another exciting first-round battle is between the aforementioned Centaur and Vampire. While the Vampire has the ability to fly, he loses his size and attacking ability when doing so, and Centaurs are extremely well-suited for speed while fighting.
Frankenstein, the Gnome and the Goblin received unfortunate first-round draws, and have little chance of doing any damage to their much larger, stronger, smarter and more powerful foes.
Though dominated by the higher seeds, the Literary bracket does have some interesting first-round battles, and will become infinitely more contested in the later rounds.

The Miscellaneous Bracket
The fierce smorgasbord that is the Miscellaneous Bracket contains a mish-mash of terrifying creatures. It is guaranteed to deliver exciting match-ups in which any beast has a shot to make it all the way.
The top three seeds are among the strongest in the tournament. Godzilla, a ginormous lizard that terrorized Tokyo, is expected to burn through the bracket. However, a previous defeat by the nation of Japan shows trouble closing the game. King Kong, at No. 2, makes Donkey Kong look like a puff pastry. A lack of buildings on the course may present difficulties in the later rounds. Predator, the strongest three seed in the tournament, is the best warrior in the universe. He will make an asset of the terrain with his formidable intelligence and deadly arsenal, including a shoulder-mounted energy cannon, invisibility, wolverine-style claws, bladed Frisbees of death and, most of all, dreadlocks. 
Moving down the bracket, more strong opponents will enter the arena. The tall, strong, furry, intelligent Wookie will make use of his energy bowcaster. Alien will terrify his opponents with a whip-like tail, sharp teeth, acid blood, intelligence and massive claws. The Gargoyle continues this display of power, with flight and razor sharp talons and teeth. Being made of animated stone, it has an impregnable defense.  
The more unfortunate low seeds present untapped upset potential. The Monty Python rabbit has long, sharp, point teeth. It leaps about! Look at the bones! The Dust Bunny is the monster under your bed. Any creature with allergy problems beware. 
Strap on your seatbelts kids, it’s gonna be a wild ride. So many lasers, explosions and slow motion dramatics, it’ll make Michael Bay cry. Expect excitement every second and gruesome deaths around every corner. 

To see the Mythical Match-ups Bracket, see the PDF of today’s paper which can be found on the front page of The Observer’s website.

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The Observer is a Student-run, daily print & online newspaper serving Notre Dame & Saint Mary's. Learn more about us.

-

archive

Mythical Match-Ups

Nick Anderson, Matt Brown, Eric Prister and Szymon Ryzner | Friday, October 2, 2009

Try this on for size, literary theorists. We bring you a mêlée for the ages. The Mythological Creatures Tournament will allow the most famous beasts of all time to jump out of the pages onto the battlefield and pit their strengths against one another. It brings together 65 of the most terrifying (or not so terrifying) characters from mythology, literature, folklore and other assorted formats, fighting one-on-one in a specially crafted arena which allows the more intelligent characters to play to their strengths. The arena features an open field, a dense forest and a lake which all can be utilized throughout the battle. So fill out a bracket, stay tuned for the results, and have pen and paper (or just an e-mail) ready to argue why your favorite creature should not have been upset in the first round. It’s a clash of epic proportions. Are you prepared?

The Mythology BracketThe Mythology Bracket is one without many pushovers. Despite the Kraken’s weak showing in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films, it still retains a No. 1 ranking thanks to sheer size and strength. The Hydra comes in at a close second, since it has the ability to re-grow two heads for every single one it loses. And, starting with nine threatening craniums is nothing to scoff at. Seeded third is the Sphinx, quite possibly the most intelligent creature in the Mythology bracket. Its riddle only once topped by the great Oedipus, the Sphinx also has a history of self destruction upon being outsmarted.If you thought the top three were terrifying, enter number four, Scylla. Scylla was but another danger on Odysseus’s 10-year trip home, and what a hazard she posed. The details of her appearance include 12 tentacles, six wolves forming her lower body, the torso and head of a female and an additional six long-necked grisly heads with extremely sharp teeth. No doubt a tough fight for the Manticore unless Pegasus or the Harpy can pull an upset. The Manticore on the other hand has the head of a man, a scorpion tail, body of a lion, wings and the ability to shoot poisonous spines. It is perhaps an early contender to drop the top-seeded Kraken in a later round. For clarity, the Cockatrice is a large rooster with a lizard-like tail, not a significant threat for the multidimensional Sphinx. As far as early bets for the first round, this bracket seems to have mostly clear winners in each of the starting battles. The Chimera v. Griffin showdown could be close since both creatures possess the ability to fly. Similarly, the closely ranked Minotaur v. Cerberus showdown should be quite brutal. The Faun and the winner of the play-in game between the Fairy and the Nymph, will likely struggle to have a strong start against some of mythology’s heaviest hitters, though don’t count out upsets in the later rounds.

The Folklore BracketFolklore is central to any culture, but more importantly, it contains gruesome creatures from the dark recesses of man’s imagination. After searching the globe, the most fearsome creatures were gathered for death matches of untold magnitude. The ferocity of these battles will be sung through the generations, the victors glorified and the defeated shamed along with their offspring. Folklore presents a strong bracket throughout, from the first to the 16th seed. Paul Bunyan, a giant of a man with the skills of a lumberjack, wields his ax as the first seed. He’ll face tough competition down the road from the second through fifth seeds; the genie, the Tiyanak, the Loch Ness Monster and the Werewolf. The Tiyanak, an obscure but strong competitor, represents the Philippines. While it takes the form of a fetus, there are layers to its strength. Its appearance and cry, that of a human child, disarm the opposition. Once in its grasp, the Tiyanak reverts to form, gaining super strength, and an inhuman maw with which it devours its victims. The competitors barely weaken as one moves down the rankings. The Yeti, Sasquatch, El Chupacabra, Boogeyman and Mermaid round out the top 10. The strengths of the middle of the rankings cover the spectrum, presenting strength, stealth, intelligence and terror. The Jersey Devil, Hodag, Gremlin, Leprechaun, Jackolope and Jack Frost complete the ranks. Jack Frost, an elemental force, as a 16th seed shows the undeniable depth of the tournament. The Hodag, another obscure creature, hails from the state of Wisconsin. It has the head of a frog, face of a grinning elephant, huge claws and a tail with spikes at the end.The exciting first round matchups include the Jersey Devil and the Yeti, El Chupacabra and the Boogeyman and Sasquatch and the Mermaid. Death, destruction and chaos will be the themes of the first round all for the entertainment of the masses.

The Literary BracketThe Literary Bracket rivals the mythology bracket for most brute strength and may have the two most formidable top seeds, the Balrog and the Dragon. Both will be nearly impossible to defeat, since both are large, powerful and have human-like intelligence. The other top seeds, Grendel, Merlin and the Ent also have the advantage of intelligence, which makes upsets unlikely.Notice the distinction between the 6th-seeded Vampire and the 16th-seeded Sparkly “Twilight” Vampire. One strikes fear into the heart of whomever he comes across, and the other, while blessed with super-speed and super-strength, cares more about feelings than actual aggression.The Elf, Centaur and Dwarf are all interesting characters to watch, since their high intelligence and fighting skills will help them throughout the tournament. Their lack of size and overly powerful attacks will be their only downfalls if they have any.The Phoenix vs. Giant matchup is one of the most interesting first-round battles. While the Giant has the size and power advantage, the Phoenix has flying ability and greater intelligence, and may be able to lure the Giant into a less advantageous fighting location.Another exciting first-round battle is between the aforementioned Centaur and Vampire. While the Vampire has the ability to fly, he loses his size and attacking ability when doing so, and Centaurs are extremely well-suited for speed while fighting.Frankenstein, the Gnome and the Goblin received unfortunate first-round draws, and have little chance of doing any damage to their much larger, stronger, smarter and more powerful foes.Though dominated by the higher seeds, the Literary bracket does have some interesting first-round battles, and will become infinitely more contested in the later rounds.

The Miscellaneous BracketThe fierce smorgasbord that is the Miscellaneous Bracket contains a mish-mash of terrifying creatures. It is guaranteed to deliver exciting match-ups in which any beast has a shot to make it all the way.The top three seeds are among the strongest in the tournament. Godzilla, a ginormous lizard that terrorized Tokyo, is expected to burn through the bracket. However, a previous defeat by the nation of Japan shows trouble closing the game. King Kong, at No. 2, makes Donkey Kong look like a puff pastry. A lack of buildings on the course may present difficulties in the later rounds. Predator, the strongest three seed in the tournament, is the best warrior in the universe. He will make an asset of the terrain with his formidable intelligence and deadly arsenal, including a shoulder-mounted energy cannon, invisibility, wolverine-style claws, bladed Frisbees of death and, most of all, dreadlocks. Moving down the bracket, more strong opponents will enter the arena. The tall, strong, furry, intelligent Wookie will make use of his energy bowcaster. Alien will terrify his opponents with a whip-like tail, sharp teeth, acid blood, intelligence and massive claws. The Gargoyle continues this display of power, with flight and razor sharp talons and teeth. Being made of animated stone, it has an impregnable defense.  The more unfortunate low seeds present untapped upset potential. The Monty Python rabbit has long, sharp, point teeth. It leaps about! Look at the bones! The Dust Bunny is the monster under your bed. Any creature with allergy problems beware. Strap on your seatbelts kids, it’s gonna be a wild ride. So many lasers, explosions and slow motion dramatics, it’ll make Michael Bay cry. Expect excitement every second and gruesome deaths around every corner.

To see the Mythical Match-ups Bracket, see the PDF of today’s paper which can be found on the front page of The Observer’s website.