Nick Anderson, Matt Brown, Eric Prister and Szymon Ryzner | Friday, October 30, 2009
Godzilla def. Hellhound
Godzilla blasted his way to the elite eight using superior firepower to vanquish the Hellhound from this mortal plane.
After being forced to field questions all Fall Break as to whether he truly deserved his No. 1 seed, Godzilla came out firing quickly reducing the arena to a molten glass surface with a tremendous display of laser beamage. The extreme temperature and harsh environment, however, did little to slow the hellhound as it closed in on Godzilla with a wolfish smile. The Hellhound leapt at Godzilla’s throat and as he was about to latch onto the windpipe, Godzilla whipped his head to the side and crunched down on the meaty morsel. “He burned a little on the way down,” Godzilla said, “but it tasted like success.”
Predator def. Gargoyle
Predator once again utilized his advanced technology to slice the competition.
The alien metal that makes up Predator’s blades proved to be extremely effective against the Gargoyle’s stony hide, the first time a hole has been shown in the rock beast’s solid defense. The Predator used his bladed disc to shear off a wing from the diving Gargoyle, rushed the site of the landing and made short work of the stunned building ornament with his arm blades. Removing his mask, the Predator stood proud in the middle of the field challenging all comers.
Paul Bunyan has yet to break a sweat. After two first round matches without a scratch, the fierce lumberjack breezed through to the elite eight after the gremlin and werewolf were both destroyed in the previous round. “I’m pretty disappointed so far,” admitted Bunyan, “I sharpened my axe for this. Babe even came to show her support. She wants to see a little competition.” When asked about his next opponent, the Sasquatch, the flannel-cloaked fighter’s mood remained sullen. “He hides in the tree. I chop down trees. What do you expect to happen?” roared the mountain of a man between bites of his flapjacks.
Sasquatch def. the Leprechaun
A fine mist rolled over the arena as the Leprechaun awoke center field in the same clothes as the night before. Sober for the first time in the tournament, he suffered a wee bit o’ hangover following his fighting and drinking binge. The sasquatch, who’s presence at his previous matches has been reported but not confirmed, remained a mysterious being, nothing more than quick movement and strong smells in the forest. After several hours of search for his misplaced pot of gold, the leprechaun was reported missing. Witnesses claimed he had gone into the trees muttering about the night before. After thoroughly examining the end of the rainbow, the leprechaun’s disappearance was attributed to the Sasquatch.
Merlin def. the Balrog
Taking a page out of his fellow-wizard’s magical book, Merlin did his best Gandalf impression by knocking off the top-seeded Balrog and sending the fiery demon to its doom.
Merlin first did some lightning-fast spell-work and moved the field of battle to the top of a cliff. The Balrog had no choice but to follow and placed itself perilously near the edge of the cliff. Merlin then forcefully stuck his staff in the ground, breaking the cliff and sending the Balrog toppling to the depths below.
With the lightness of a man 200 years younger, Merlin floated down the cliff’s edge and stabbed the Balrog with his conjured sword, ending the championship run of the Literary bracket’s favorite.
The Dragon def. Grendel
As he has done so often before, the Dragon used an aerial attack to neutralize the ferocity of Grendel, who was unable to land consistent blows on the flying lizard.
The Dragon took off immediately as the match began, circling his opponent and waiting for the right time to strike. The impatient Grendel became frustrated, and attempted to climb the cliff to get closer to the Dragon. The path to the top of the cliff was somewhat treacherous, however, and the Dragon took advantage, catching Grendel off guard and knocking him over.
Without the benefit of his speed and quickness, Grendel was unable to overcome the fire-breath and razor-sharp talons of the Dragon, who advanced easily.
Cerberus vs. Manticore
The battle was long, both seeds fought hard, but ultimately it was the resilient Cerberus who took home the “W.” The Manticore had the advantage of flight but Cerberus was surefooted and knew the Manticore couldn’t fly forever. The airborne assault was heavy and consistent, but with its three pairs of eyes the Cerberus never lost sight of the Manticore. Once the Manticore tired its wings, the mighty Cerberus mangled the frightful beast and on land it simply was no contest. Thus the great Cerberus, guardian of the underworld has reached the finals of the Myth bracket where it will encounter the Hydra.
Hydra vs. Sphynx
Intellect and wit weren’t enough to save the Sphinx from the plethora of craniums held by the opposition. Despite a prior knowledge of the Hydra’s weaknesses’ the Sphinx could not handle the headstrong attack of the mythical beast. The claws and fangs of the Sphinx couldn’t cut off any of the Hydra’s heads and the snappy strikes by the Hydra destroyed the Sphinx. It was quick and the winner was clear; the Hydra moves into the Myth bracket finals to challenge the unbeaten Cerberus in a showdown of the many-headed myths.