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The fairer sex-ism

Patrick Collard | Monday, October 12, 2009

I hate nothing more than people who decide it’s their job to provide hilarious reading by responding to the “Question of the Day” with witty remarks or “facts.” Fact: “Question of the Day” is the only public forum where heartfelt viewpoints can be expressed. To Colin and all the other comedians freeloading on this sacred Observer ground, here is a free lesson on how to respond to Q’s of the D.

Question: Why is it worse to be a woman? Answer: Societal oppression – something that chivalrous men like myself are trying to end for our “broken rib”(Gen. 2:18-24).

To properly address why it is worse to be a woman, we must assess the degree to which men and women are different. As this is a forum for logical thought, the dominion of man, I will present a rational argument with scientific backing. In order to achieve this, I am going to be objective and frank in a comparison of the sexes. I will begin by presenting a list of notable women, all great credits to their sex: Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Emma Watson, Blessed Virgin Mary, Oprah and Lady Gaga (Honorable mentions: Miley Cyrus and Melissa Buddie). Likewise, I present a list of notable men: every president ever, Jesus, Harry Potter, Twilight Vampire Dude and Lady Gaga. After constructing an extensive table of pros and cons (see Appendix A) it is evident that males have a small innate superiority over females.

The most notable benefits of being a man are standing while peeing, physical and intellectual dominance and survival skills. While there are remarkably more benefits of being a man, the weight carried by the male cons (innate sense of superiority, 93.4 percent of the incarcerated population and embarrassing erections) make for a close comparison. In the end however the staggering amount of cons for being a women (re: sexist stereotypes) tip the scales in favor of man.

Colin, I hope this letter has taught you a lesson. I leave you with one last thought: Always speak from your heart … because a certain sex probably wouldn’t understand your sarcasm anyways.

Patrick Collard

sophomore

St. Edward’s Hall

Oct. 9

 

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The Observer is a Student-run, daily print & online newspaper serving Notre Dame & Saint Mary's. Learn more about us.

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archive

The fairer sex-ism

Letter to the Editor | Sunday, October 11, 2009

I hate nothing more than people who decide it’s their job to provide hilarious reading by responding to the “Question of the Day” with witty remarks or “facts.” Fact: “Question of the Day” is the only public forum where heartfelt viewpoints can be expressed. To Colin and all the other comedians freeloading on this sacred Observer ground, here is a free lesson on how to respond to Q’s of the D.

Question: Why is it worse to be a woman? Answer: Societal oppression – something that chivalrous men like myself are trying to end for our “broken rib”(Gen. 2:18-24).

To properly address why it is worse to be a woman, we must assess the degree to which men and women are different. As this is a forum for logical thought, the dominion of man, I will present a rational argument with scientific backing. In order to achieve this, I am going to be objective and frank in a comparison of the sexes. I will begin by presenting a list of notable women, all great credits to their sex: Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Emma Watson, Blessed Virgin Mary, Oprah and Lady Gaga (Honorable mentions: Miley Cyrus and Melissa Buddie). Likewise, I present a list of notable men: every president ever, Jesus, Harry Potter, Twilight Vampire Dude and Lady Gaga. After constructing an extensive table of pros and cons (see Appendix A) it is evident that males have a small innate superiority over females.

The most notable benefits of being a man are standing while peeing, physical and intellectual dominance and survival skills. While there are remarkably more benefits of being a man, the weight carried by the male cons (innate sense of superiority, 93.4 percent of the incarcerated population and embarrassing erections) make for a close comparison. In the end however the staggering amount of cons for being a women (re: sexist stereotypes) tip the scales in favor of man.

Colin, I hope this letter has taught you a lesson. I leave you with one last thought: Always speak from your heart … because a certain sex probably wouldn’t understand your sarcasm anyways.

Patrick Collard

sophomore

St. Edward’s Hall

Oct. 9