I hate nothing more than people who decide it's their job to provide hilarious reading by responding to the "Question of the Day" with witty remarks or "facts." Fact: "Question of the Day" is the only public forum where heartfelt viewpoints can be expressed. To Colin and all the other comedians freeloading on this sacred Observer ground, here is a free lesson on how to respond to Q's of the D.
Question: Why is it worse to be a woman? Answer: Societal oppression - something that chivalrous men like myself are trying to end for our "broken rib"(Gen. 2:18-24).
To properly address why it is worse to be a woman, we must assess the degree to which men and women are different. As this is a forum for logical thought, the dominion of man, I will present a rational argument with scientific backing. In order to achieve this, I am going to be objective and frank in a comparison of the sexes. I will begin by presenting a list of notable women, all great credits to their sex: Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Emma Watson, Blessed Virgin Mary, Oprah and Lady Gaga (Honorable mentions: Miley Cyrus and Melissa Buddie). Likewise, I present a list of notable men: every president ever, Jesus, Harry Potter, Twilight Vampire Dude and Lady Gaga. After constructing an extensive table of pros and cons (see Appendix A) it is evident that males have a small innate superiority over females.
The most notable benefits of being a man are standing while peeing, physical and intellectual dominance and survival skills. While there are remarkably more benefits of being a man, the weight carried by the male cons (innate sense of superiority, 93.4 percent of the incarcerated population and embarrassing erections) make for a close comparison. In the end however the staggering amount of cons for being a women (re: sexist stereotypes) tip the scales in favor of man.
Colin, I hope this letter has taught you a lesson. I leave you with one last thought: Always speak from your heart ... because a certain sex probably wouldn't understand your sarcasm anyways.
Patrick Collard
sophomore
St. Edward's Hall
Oct. 9
Question: Why is it worse to be a woman? Answer: Societal oppression - something that chivalrous men like myself are trying to end for our "broken rib"(Gen. 2:18-24).
To properly address why it is worse to be a woman, we must assess the degree to which men and women are different. As this is a forum for logical thought, the dominion of man, I will present a rational argument with scientific backing. In order to achieve this, I am going to be objective and frank in a comparison of the sexes. I will begin by presenting a list of notable women, all great credits to their sex: Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Emma Watson, Blessed Virgin Mary, Oprah and Lady Gaga (Honorable mentions: Miley Cyrus and Melissa Buddie). Likewise, I present a list of notable men: every president ever, Jesus, Harry Potter, Twilight Vampire Dude and Lady Gaga. After constructing an extensive table of pros and cons (see Appendix A) it is evident that males have a small innate superiority over females.
The most notable benefits of being a man are standing while peeing, physical and intellectual dominance and survival skills. While there are remarkably more benefits of being a man, the weight carried by the male cons (innate sense of superiority, 93.4 percent of the incarcerated population and embarrassing erections) make for a close comparison. In the end however the staggering amount of cons for being a women (re: sexist stereotypes) tip the scales in favor of man.
Colin, I hope this letter has taught you a lesson. I leave you with one last thought: Always speak from your heart ... because a certain sex probably wouldn't understand your sarcasm anyways.
Patrick Collard
sophomore
St. Edward's Hall
Oct. 9
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
