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P-P-P-Poseur Hate, P-P-Poseur Hate

Courtney Eckerle | Tuesday, November 10, 2009

“Put on some pants. It’s cold outside,” would probably be the first thing Lady Gaga haters would say to her if given the chance. Wearing nothing but a sparkly leotard, tights, high shoes and something weird and lacy on your face doesn’t make you cool. It makes you freezing. So cool that you start heading in the other direction, and that is exactly what Lady Gaga has started to do. She’s gone from different to being a caricature of herself.
Sure, the Lady gets paid, but that only shows how much the MTV generation is hooked onto shock value and addicted to the opinion of the almighty Perez Hilton. Gaga’s new video for her song “Bad Romance” premiered this week, and the theme is meant to capture the “tough female spirit,” as she told MTV news in a recent interview. Gaga said the video finds her kidnapped by a group of “jealous supermodels,” who then send her off to the Russian mafia. Taking a card from Saturday Night Live here by saying really Lady Gaga? REALLY? Displaying the tough female spirit? First of all, you should be worrying about your toughness if you can’t get away from a few scrawny super models. Secondly, what does the Russian mafia want with a pop singer? And why are they using said models as their henchmen? Were the usual goons busy? They probably regretted the decision because (spoiler alert!) Lady Gaga fries them to a crisp with an unusual weapon in the end. The video is horrifying mental gibberish. It seems as though she is banking on people being so freaked out and confused that they think, “I can’t understand any of what’s going on here- it must be genius. Gaga is amazing, just so far beyond us!”
Her big “fashion statement” of the music video is razor blade sunglasses. She also told MTV, “I wanted to design a pair for some of the toughest chicks and some of my girlfriends — don’t do this at home — they used to keep razor blades in the side of their mouths,” she explained. “That tough female sprit is something that I want to project. It’s meant to be, ‘This is my shield, this is my weapon, this is my inner sense of fame, this is my monster.'”
What? How does that even make sense? Who walks around with a razor blade stuck in their mouths? That’s not the female spirit, that’s … terrorism. Or drug abuse. You don’t have to have seen “The Dark Knight” to know how carrying razor blades around in your mouth can go wrong. Gaga’s smart though, she knows she’s paid to be crazy. Is half the stuff she pulls really for her, or is it for us, her thrill-seeking audience? How can you have an album called “The Fame” before you’re famous? It’s the same question people were asking 20 years ago with Vanilla Ice — how can he be “back” if he just got here? Now look where he is. The last thing anyone remembers is when he was on “The Surreal Life” with Verne Troyer.
The only good thing that has come out of Gaga-mania is her music. It’s fun to listen to, she deserves credit for it. Is it iconic, seminal, spanning-the-generations music? No. If “Just Dance” becomes the next “Hey Jude” or “Vogue” … God help us all. Yes, she can sing, but who even cares when she has blood tears coming out of her eyeballs at the VMAs? She told Alexa Chung earlier this week she was “upset there wasn’t more blood.” I guess some people just don’t understand the art behind a good eye-to-blood ratio. Then again, at this point, the only way any of us would be shocked by her is if she showed up somewhere in jeans and a T-shirt. The girl is from New Jersey. Don’t tell me she doesn’t own a pair of jeans.
There is nothing worse than a cheap imitation. Whether it’s a knock-off purse or a knock-off artist, it’s just not the same. Madonna did it 25 years ago, and she did it better. There is no hating on different here, it’s hating on different for different’s sake. Crazy is a formula for fame. When were people talking about Britney Spears the most? Michael Jackson? She just put a new spin on monkey-see, monkey-do. Lady Gaga, aka Stefani Germanotta, is a p-p-poseur.