Huddle prices, explained
Adam Hansmann | Wednesday, February 3, 2010
In response to Dave Schmidt’s letter (“Still overpriced,” Jan. 20) concerning high Huddle Mart prices, I have to step in and defend the beloved campus mart. Schmidt complains that many of the store’s items are sold for more than double their comparable retail price. He accuses management of abusing their virtual monopoly over on-campus beverage and snack sales (might I suggest DormDrinks.com).
While he presents compelling evidence, his argument has one fatal flaw: the “flex point” is actually a foreign currency, worth approximately 0.50 U.S. dollar. Clif Bars priced at $2.09? Wrong! Try dividing by two. Orange Powerade, $1.99? Again, divide by two. Elsewhere on campus: you want a $5.00 footlong? Sorry, we only sell an $8.50 footlong! In other words, campus retailers have to charge “double” because they are getting paid in worthless flex units.
The scandal here is not overpricing but that our tuition payments are debited $300 for a semester’s allotment of flex points, but that account is only capable of purchasing $150 worth of goods. It is no wonder our university’s endowment has performed so well: Notre Dame is one of the world’s most deceitful FOREX traders (Just kidding, Scott).
Thankfully, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Renowned Notre Dame villain Barack Obama and the U.S. Treasury are embarking on a mission to colossally devalue the dollar, a step which would make flex points appreciably more valuable and, finally, restore students’ ability to purchase reasonably-priced soy milk.