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It’s bobsled time

Jess Shaffer | Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Vancouver Olympics have sparked a deserved fascination with icy athleticism.  When watching competitive curling, speed skating, ice skating and luge-ing, it’s impossible to avoid one question.

Where does someone’s career in such an obscure athletic endeavor begin?

How does one become a successful bobsledder on a worldwide level?

Notre Dame, and our education here, provides many answers to life’s great questions.

But on this nagging question, our expensive, world class education is stunned into silence.

But fear not! The Finests from Farely Hall have an answer to your dilemma — Farley Fiasco.

While we Finests might not be able to help you with your career in curling or speed skating, we are certainly capable of helping you kick off your career in bobsledding — or something like it.

Everyone has to start somewhere, and this Friday you can start your training.

Here’s the Farley Fiasco plan to achieve the Olympic Gold in bobsledding:

Step one: Go to shop ND and register you and four friends (that’s a team of five) for Farley Fiasco. The fee is $25, but obviously well worth it if it will eventually result in an Olympic bid down the line.

Step two: Watch “Cool Runnings” to prepare yourself for this athletic, frozen feat. Before you know it you’ll be “Feeling the rhythm, feeling the rhyme,” and you’ll want to get up because “It’s Bobsled Time!”

 Step three: Finally the big day arrives. Friday, wake up and make sure you eat your Wheaties and stretch. Then, at 7 p.m., head over to the Joyce Center to check in for registration.

Step five: Compete in the race for your life. Winner takes home the golden sled. Losers can eat their feelings with free carnival food.

Step six: Win or lose, enjoy the free food and free carnival brought to you by the accounting firm, KPMG. Spend $1 on a raffle ticket for sweet prizes.

Bask in the joy of an Olympic career begun, and the self satisfaction of putting your sportiness on ice. And give yourself a pat on the back for helping bring books to underprivileged kids. Every $2 raised will put a book in the hands of kids, so what’s not to love?

You could walk away with the golden sled or you could simply finally receive the answer to the question, “Could I be a bobsledder?”

We, the Finest, are proud to offer you a chance to try your hand at the Winter Olympic sport you know and love, but never had the chance to try.

Along with that, we are proud to offer you the entirely free winter carnival and yummy carnival food that comes with this glorious race.

And as an added bonus, you get the pleasure of the company of the finest girls on this beautiful campus.