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Saturday, April 20, 2024
The Observer

Bookstore Basketball: Linebacker Lounge beats Nothing But Air, 21-9

From the outset, it appeared as if Nothing But Air would be overmatched by the height advantage and experience of the Linebacker Lounge.

But after the underdog scored the first basket of the game, Linebacker Lounge looked like it was on its heels. In the end, however, the game ended decisively for Linebacker Lounge as they cruised to victory.

Consisting of sophomores Mitch Gainer, Kevin Mader, Aaron Patzwahl, Allan Jones and Meghan McKinney, Nothing But Air showed nothing but heart the entire way. They came in with humble expectations, and they more than exceeded those expectations.

"Our goal was to score five, and we surpassed that," Jones said.

The Linebacker Lounge, consisting of David Brochu, Steve Colnitis, Tom Timmermans, Jon Carpenter and Dave Peloquin, proved that this, indeed, was not their first rodeo. But they showed a youthful passion for the game.

"We were just trying to gain our chemistry," Colnitis said. "This is only our second game this year."

Even though Linebacker Lounge dominated the game, the team made sure Nothing But Air enjoyed the experience, and even posed for a picture after the game with their opponents.

"We got the win. We're happy," Brochu said. "We wanted to make sure they had a good time as well."

Stu, Doug, Al, Phil and Doug's Phone 21, Koala Yummies 10

In a lopsided affair between two victims of the First Amendment violation that is censorship of team names, Stu, Doug, Al, Phil and Doug's Phone utilized a balanced offense and stingy defense to thoroughly suppress the Koala Yummies.

Consisting of juniors Joseph Jensen, Grant McKinley, Peter Ritchie, Steve Morris and Andrew Taylor, the squad jumped out to an early 6-1 lead and never looked back.

"We played like a devil on fire," Ritchie said. Ritchie referred to himself as the "Phoating Phenom," for his trademark dribble drive down the land leading to a teardrop that floats over the outstretched defense.

The game ended with an emphatic, long distance fade-away from the corner by Jensen with the fans chanting, "End it."

"We were like five chickens in a coop," McKinley said.

McKinley, the self-proclaimed "Mac Daddy," played most of the game hampered by an injured knee. But that did not stop him from sprinting out on the fast break and making a diving save for a ball headed out of bounds.

The Koala Yummies, consisting of fifth-year senior and graduate students Jordan Delpalazio, Patrick O'Connell, Kevin Sommers, Luke Golesh and Dave Murren, just could not put it all together for a significant stretch in the game.

"Our mindset was to pass it on down and go to town," Ritchie said, referencing their preference for shots in the paint.

Ritchie attributed the win to "a combination of our fans and the Lord Jesus Christ."
Doug, Stu, Al, Phil and Doug's Phone know what they have to do in order to keep their winning ways alive.

"We need to make it rain and bring the pain," McKinley said.