Quarter Dog extortion
Daniel Kamp | Wednesday, August 25, 2010
There is an ominous threat of price gouging amok at our cherished University. I am, of course, speaking about the atrocity of the quarter dog price increase. For those who are ignorant of this glaring abomination, the Huddle recently decided to punish the noble students of Our Lady’s University by imposing a barbaric 32 percent increase of quarter dog prices. This vicious assault on our consumer rights should not be condoned.
We have reached the tipping point. What shall we call ‘quarter dogs’ if they do not cost a quarter? I fail to imagine the name of ‘third dog’ catching on. For a dollar, you now receive one less hot dog. This clearly discriminates against diligent cost cutters and late night snackers. My explanation? It is a nefarious plot by Reckers to divert traffic flow through their outrageously overpriced food stock.
Think it isn’t a huge problem? Think again. In the past year, the Bureau of Labor Statistics estimated a core inflation rate of 1.2 percent. With the eight cent hijacking of our beloved ‘quarter dogs,’ the Huddle has imposed a 32 percent increase on prices. At this rate, within 10 years, quarter dogs will cost $5.30! That’s more than a footlong sub at a non-Notre Dame Subway! In twenty years, quarter dogs will be called “$85.11 dogs.”
Stop this injustice now! Stand up and be heard to cease this anathema to our student rights!