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Unwanted overtures

Claire Eckerson | Monday, November 15, 2010

This is an open letter to the self- declared “King of Controversy” Mark Easley and any one else who supports “Annexing SMC,” (Nov. 10). Here is our response to your kind offer to rid us of our burden of general uselessness: as if. Don’t suppose that any self-respecting “Saint Mary’s chick” as we’re so condescendingly referred to would ever even consider such self important drivel.

Inevitable? Notre Dame is inevitably going to annex Saint Mary’s? Right. I forgot, because those sinister Sisters of the Holy Cross (who are just waiting to line their “coffers” with tons of cash) have turned down numerous lucrative offers for their land because they’re just waiting for Notre Dame to make an offer — that’s us, just a bunch of girls on an expensive tract of land waiting for a Notre Dame dude to deign to send a glance our way.

Easley, dearest, you should have learned by now that you can’t buy a pretty girl like old SMC to get her to really like you (even if you do have that impressive 4 billion burning a hole in your pocket), or throw around big words like “hubris” and “draconian”— and you definitely shouldn’t insult her intelligence like you have.

Despite our small size and draconian learning style we like it that way. We like that after we’re done supporting each and every Notre Dame team, without asking anything in return — not even your respect, apparently, since we’re so generally and casually abused daily — we can come back to a place where people don’t hit each other over the head with their own awesomeness. From the Viewpoints or comics in The Observer to the classic “M-R-S degree” joke, we’ve taken it in stride for years and we’ll keep on keepin’ on … and on, and on, and on, because there is no way you’re getting your grubby hands on our campus. So I guess you’ll have to solve your recruiting problem some other way than dangling a bigger (some would say better) lady buffet as bait.

Here’s the bright side — you won’t have to worry about that terribly long walk!

Hate on me as much as you like, because that’s the Notre Dame spirit I’ve heard so much about — ganging up on a group of girls. So thanks for the favor — but no thanks. And if you meant the article as a joke … you didn’t write it well enough.


Claire Eckerson


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