Rules and maxims for safe dining hall navigation
Jacques Dupuis | Monday, March 7, 2011
It can be hit and miss. It’s sometimes repetitive. It can be a drag. But most importantly, 6:15 rolls around each day and navigating through the dining hall is like driving the Loop in rush hour. There are traffic jams, crashes and a fair share of road rage. Everyone’s felt a love tap from someone in the steamed veggie line or had someone cut them off in the drink area. If you’re a Northy, walk in/out any of the side rooms and you run the risk of your clothes absorbing more food than your stomach. Oof.
So what of it? Well, because everyone wants to know (right? — humor me), here are a few Rules for Safe Dining Hall Driving so you, too, can make it through the fray without a round of applause from the whole dining hall.
1. If you’re going to turn, look first. Don’t just wheel around your tray of wings into a passer-by.
2. Don’t stop abruptly.
3. Don’t use the tray conveyor belt area as a social space, even though that thing is a great topic for small talk with that soon-to-be special someone. (Extra food goes in, doesn’t come out?!)
4. Don’t back up, ever.
5. Wait three minutes to text; don’t do it while carrying your spinach and tofu salad and two cups of milk. And last but not least?
6. Drinks. Last. It’s just safe.
I’m as guilty as the next person of breaking these rules, but maybe, just maybe, the food court will be a safer place with them in mind. If not, there are always hand signals.