Disclaimer: For the sake of full disclosure, the author of this column wants the reader to know that she is someone who read Kevin Noonan's article in Wednesday's Observer, "Guide to watching that big football thing with all the funny commercials," and thought, "Wow, those are great ways to fake my interest/knowledge/expertise on the Super Bowl!"
What follows is my naïve assessment of the challenging, heartbreaking, dire situation Peyton Manning must face as Indianapolis is swarmed by fans of his enemy, determined to claim a Patriots victory on Peyton's home turf.
For the first time in the history of the great city known as Indianapolis, a teeny, tiny, barely noticeable event will take place on its freshly primped grounds.
For all intents and purposes, we'll call this weekend's Super Bowl game "This Could've Been Yours, Peyton Manning."
On Sunday evening, Peyton's baby bro Eli and unfortunately good-looking nemesis Tom Brady will face off in the year's biggest sporting event.
Peyton will once again watch from the seats at Lucas Oil Stadium, as he has the entire season. A neck injury sidelined him for the year and any chance the Colts had of playing the Super Bowl in their very own stadium rapidly melted away.
The Colts' year has been, to put it nicely, less than laudatory.
The only exciting part of their 2-14 record is that the numbers, coincidentally, are my birthday. As much as I appreciate the gesture, I'm selfless enough to sacrifice it if it means Pats fans would stay off Indy's hallowed ground.
As the New York Giants and the New England Patriots swarm the city, the monumental pain the Colts must feel is obvious. After two Super Bowl showings in the past six years, the possibility of playing in this year's championship wasn't too outlandish … until Peyton got injured.
On the bright side, at least Peyton's family will be around to keep him company this weekend. Though their attention will likely focus on their other progeny Eli, at least they can share a burger and beverage with their eldest son.
I hear Paula Deen will be at the pregame party — she'll surely raise both Peyton's spirits and cholesterol.
Though attention this weekend should really focus on the two teams duking it out for the trophy, Peyton can't seem to find his way out of the spotlight.
As both he and Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay have tried to turn attention to the actual sporting event about to take place, the media won't leave the question of Peyton's future alone.
Controversy has surrounded the Colts quarterback since fans realized his neck injury might complicate his contract with the Indianapolis team. ESPN reported Thursday that Peyton was medically cleared to resume his NFL career, but his fate in Indianapolis remains unclear.
Irsay has also been in the spotlight recently as onlookers have watched tense moments between him and the franchise quarterback play out.
With the recent firing of head coach Jim Caldwell and general manager Bill Polian, people wonder whose head will land on the chopping block next.
The Colts are expected to add former Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck to the team in April, which casts suspicion on the future role Peyton might have with the team.
Poor Peyton not only has to deal with recovering from an injury and wondering about his future; this weekend, he will also be forced to watch the conniving and contriving Patriots attempt to destroy another Manning.
Peyton, Indianapolis Colts fans feel for you. For the challenges you face this week, you win the award for Worst Week Ever.
Contact Adriana Pratt at
apratt@nd.edu
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
