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Style with Sean

Sean Fitzgerald | Friday, March 30, 2012

Kentucky vs. Louisville

In a battle for the Bluegrass State, Kentucky and Louisville face off in the Final Four.  Since the tournament this year has been so erratic I figured I would make my choice on who would win based on completely arbitrary and meaningless factors like what they wear.

Kentucky

Before we start this, I would like to thank Kentucky’s John Calipari for eliminating the highlighter-wearing Baylor Bears. Kentucky’s maestro doesn’t like to experiment too much.  But why should he? He has a winning philosophy, and if it ain’t broke, why fix it?  You might occasionally see different shades of blue on his ties, but night in and night out, it won’t be too hard to predict what he’ll be wearing on game day.  Lately, he’s been sporting the pinstripe look.  Look for that with a plain blue tie this Saturday.

Louisville

Rick Pitino’s full-court press is not just a style of play, but it is also how he picks what to wear on game day.  Have you seen him in that white suit?  He looks a little bit like Colonel Sanders, if the Colonel didn’t have a mustache and a beard.  Needless to say, Coach Pitino goes all-out for these games.  Let’s hope he brings his “A” game on Saturday.

Advantage: Louisville. Rick Pitino believes in the power of his clothes.  I mean, the man changed his clothes at halftime in a 2008 game, and Louisville came back to win.  How can you not believe in someone like that?  I’m feeling a big night from the master of the full-court press.

Prediction: Louisville 70, Kentucky 68

Kansas vs. Ohio State

No. 2 in a battle of seeded teams that didn’t lose to No. 15, Kansas faces off against Ohio State. 

Apparently, this year the school’s colors either need to be red or blue to make it to the Final Four.  Sorry Baylor, you never had a chance.

Ohio State

Despite Thad Matta’s receding hairline, he’s managed to bring his team to the illustrious Final Four. 

I don’t know what his secret is, but this man knows what he’s doing.  Jared Sullinger is not flying under the radar, though. 

I mean, look at those arm sleeves. Even Dwight Howard might be a little envious.  Honestly, I have no idea if those sleeves serve a functional purpose. I really don’t care, because they are amazing.

Kansas

Bill Self’s Kansas Jayhawks didn’t screw it up this year by losing way too early. That’s a good start.  But can they finish?

As a classic powerhouse in the NCAA, they have a consistent look that is professional.  But let’s be honest, it is really boring.  The only thing I think Kansas has going for them is they have already beaten a team wearing red in NC State. I know, it’s completely arbitrary, but maybe they trained with the bulls in Pamplona and have a seething hatred of red.

Advantage: Ohio State.  Between Thad Matta’s hairline and Jared Sullinger’s arm sleeves, they have got to win.

Prediction: Ohio State 61, Kansas 55

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Style With Sean

Sean Fitzgerald | Tuesday, March 27, 2012

1. Thou shalt not ride a scooter to class.

You look like you beat some 7-year-old kid at foursquare, and then took his pride and joy as a victory token. Getting one of the F-14 scooters from Notre Dame’s fleet of electric powered vehicles is completely acceptable, though.

2. Thou shalt not wear thy Frosh-O T-Shirt more than once a week.

Your first experience at Notre Dame introduced you to the completely normal gender relations we have at this university. You met your Frosh-O date and proceeded to walk hand-in-hand to Stepan, only to promptly ditch her for your “real” friends. Seriously though, you don’t need to wear a t-shirt every day of the week.

3. Thou shalt adhere to thy theme of thy SYR/Dorm Party.

Toga! Toga! Toga! If someone is willing to send you a Facebook invite and then proceed to fill you with their own hard-earned beverages one night, at least give them the common courtesy of showing up in the requested attire. Showing up fashionably late though is highly encouraged.

4. Thou shalt not wear jeans that are skinnier than hers.

If your girlfriend could wear them, then put them down. I beg you to put them down. Leave the skinny jeans to the better half. Actually, just give them to her. It will make her happy, and she’ll look good in them. It’s a win-win.

5. Thou shalt not pop thy collar of a collared shirt/polo for any reason.

One of the many reasons we love “The Jersey Shore.” One of the many reasons you shouldn’t do it.

6. Thou shalt not marinate in thy cologne.

Science isn’t even on your side. A study published in the European Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology (I do my homework, people) concludes cologne actually inhibits your attractiveness. Apparently, cologne masks your natural scent. Note: Do not confuse B.O. with your natural scent – B.O. is never attractive.

7. Thou shalt get to know thy tailor, or meet one if thou doth not know one.

Your tailor is what Sam is to Frodo or Chewbacca is to Han Solo: He’ll save your life one day. A tailored look is the difference between looking good and being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

8. Thou shalt not sag.

Your pants should not be that low. No woman will ever use the words “handsome” and “sag” in the same sentence. That should be enough of an incentive.

9. Thou shalt not wear the same attire two days in a row…or more.

If you don’t want to do laundry the solution is to “Suit Up!” I actually did this once. I got a lot of laughs when I told people why I was suited up.

10. Thou shalt never look better than a Lady Domer or a Saint Mary’s Belle.

This isn’t really a commandment, as it is a fact. You could be in a perfectly cut three-piece suit and she could be in … well, anything, and look better than you. Perplexing? Yes, but don’t question it if you still want to have friends, or possibly reach the elusive dream of ring by spring.

Contact Sean Fitzgerald at sfitzge3@nd.edu

The views in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.