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Watch this, not that

Kevin Noonan | Wednesday, August 29, 2012

 

This summer, I came across the famous no-diet weight loss program “Eat This, Not That!” Not inspired enough to take up the whole stupid weight loss thing, of course, that stuff cramps my style (see: super-fly fabulous), but instead to start the Scene’s own version of a column full of self-important advice to try to prove that we know more than we do and make everyone else feel inferior for their lack of knowledge.

And so, without further self-serving ado, the premier of “Watch This, Not That.”

 

Watch This: “Justified”

This modern-day Western cowboy action-drama stars Timothy Olyphant as a total kick-arse, bad-arse U.S. Marshall stuck in Hicktown, USA, aka Harlan County, Ky. The show finished its third season this April in typical bullets-flying, family drama, “are these guys good guys or bad guys” fashion leaving fans of the show salivating for the fourth season to tie up some of the loose ends.

The show won’t pick back up until January, giving new fans plenty of time to catch up on the meth-infused, marijuana dealing, redneck-dumping-down-old-mining-shafts drama.

I don’t care how you watch it; just watch it.

 

Not That: “The Burn with Jeff Ross”

I don’t have much room to talk when it comes to saying someone isn’t funny, especially when that someone is famous and gets paid the big bucks as a professional comedian. But I’m just going to go out on a limb here and state my highly unimportant opinion – Jeff Ross isn’t funny.

The Comedy Central roasts, which seem to have skyrocketed his fame to the always-esteemed level of “Comedy Central Gave That Dude a Show,” aren’t funny with almost no exception, and he’s not funny in them. Yeah, he’s mean, and that’s cool, but mean doesn’t always translate into funny.

Don’t watch it, or risk my passive aggressive disapproval.

 

Watch This: “Key and Peele”

On the other end of the Comedy Central spectrum is “Key and Peele,” one of the few successful and legitimately funny sketch shows following a long line of trash trotted out to put audiences to sleep since Dave Chappelle walked out on the network.

Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, both former cast members of Fox’s “MADtv,” anchor the show, which follows a similar format to Chappelle’s, interspersing stand-up between sketches.  The show took time to find its rhythm in its first season this past winter, but even in the early, hit-and-miss shows, the two showed their unlimited potential and talent for inducing sidesplitting laughter. The two also show they’re not afraid to touch on uncomfortable issues and turn them inside out for laughs – a trait “Saturday Night Live” might want to look into.

The second season is scheduled to start on Sept. 26, and most of last season can be found floating around the World Wide Web.

I don’t care how you watch it; just watch it.

Not That: Fantasy football specials

“The League” is one of the funniest shows on television. It may be featured in the “Watch This” section of this article in the foreseeable future. The show satirizes in many ways a group of guys who takes their fantasy football way, way too seriously. In the show, Pete loses his wife over the game, Kevin uses his young daughter to try to score fantasy advice and Ruxin is just generally despicable.

As funny as this show is, it’s a little scary to think clearly there are people who take fantasy football seriously enough for ESPN and other sports networks to run regular fantasy football advice specials.

Let’s just keep it simple – don’t watch these specials. Don’t take fantasy football that seriously. Don’t be that guy. That guy sucks. I’m not trying to tell you how to spend your time, but really I am, and don’t spend it on these things.

Don’t watch it, or risk my passive aggressive disapproval.

 

Contact  Kevin Noonan at knoonan2@nd.edu

The views in this column are those of the author and  not necessarily those of the Observer.