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Arts and crafts

Christian Myers | Monday, September 3, 2012

At some point during my freshman year, I heard the students of the College of Arts and Letters (and therefore myself) referred to as arts and crafts majors.

At the time, I was just confused and thought to myself, “Why is this guy, who is drawing triangles while I critically analyze the ‘Summa Theologica,’ implying that my academic pursuits are equivalent to finger painting or crocheting?”

Recently, however, I came to the realization that my course of study has prepared me to be a master of arts and crafts (I was Miagi-ed, if you will). After two full years at Notre Dame, I made a poster for the men’s lacrosse club to use at Activities Night.

Before doing anything related to the poster, I stopped, as advised by Aristotle and the more modern philosopher John Rawls, and confirmed creating the poster would serve my overall life plan and the end goal to which it is directed.
Next, given my extensive training in the liberal arts, I was able to locate poster board in the art supplies section of the bookstore and to note the liberal price mark-up.

Since I do so many arts and crafts in my courses, I had some colored sharpie markers that my parents bought for me before my freshman year.

Having read Augustine’s ‘On Christian Teaching,’ I know that words are symbols of true things. Therefore, I made sure to write “club lacrosse” on the poster, knowing that the poster itself was a symbol for our club.

I employed some creative word play, specifically emphasizing the letters “lax” in the word “relax.” This subtle product of wit, of course, was a direct result of studying the works of the Bard himself, Shakespeare.

I recalled in the ‘Republic,’ Plato warned against art that imitates bad things and men, and recommended only imitations of good and noble things and men. So the pictures I chose to attach were of noble defensemen and defensive midfielders, rather than of vain attackmen (I have to tell it like it is – Plato says lying is wrong, except in the case of the noble lie).

When I was printing off images and there was a problem with the printer, I took the counsel of Epictetus and did not allow myself to be troubled by things beyond my control.

For those of you wondering how much I valued this well-crafted piece of art, the poster is now in a garbage can.

My name is Christian, and I’m an arts and crafts major.

Contact Christian Myers at cmyers8@nd.edu

The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.