Whether you are just looking for something warm to wear when South Bend's weather gets its act together and reminds us that the weather here really is pitiful, or you're gearing up for an ugly sweater party, ugly sweaters are about to make an entrance back into the public scene. When we were little children, the ugly sweater from Aunt Mary that our mothers made us wear was absolutely dreadful. It was especially bad if your whole family had matching ugly sweaters, hopefully no photographic evidence exists. However, college changes people. Students are ready to take risks and experiment. Some may wonder if that sweater was really that ugly or now realize that the man makes the sweater, the sweater does not make the man.
For the sartorially inclined in our midst, the ugly sweater is an affront to style. It is a crime of aesthetics. However, I am here to argue that the ugly sweater has an important place in the annals of American history, nay World History.
You may be wondering, what makes the ugly sweater such a wonderful piece of attire? Let me enlighten you. First of all, the ugly sweater is a celebration of the season. It is a celebration of the change from Fall to Winter. It is the perfect transition piece from falling leaves to falling snow. It is only worn during the happiest time of the year, the season of joy, and, of course, presents. And, who doesn't like presents? That's right, only the Grinch.
Secondly, who doesn't love a giant snowflake pattern with a bunch of random geometric shapes all in symmetry? It is the equivalent of the grown up version of making a paper snowflake, but you can wear it. To find and wear such an ugly sweater shows that you have confidence and no matter what you wear you can rock it. Immediately upon wearing such a sweater, you become that much more attractive, nigh irresistible. Caution: Women may flock to you; I am not liable for any injuries and/or deaths occurring as a result of your impressive sense of style.
Finally, ugly sweaters are so comfortable. They are the male equivalent of yoga pants, or so I've been told. It is as if you were encompassed by the warmest of furs, in sweater form. People less fortunate than yourself look on in envy and wonder, "How is he able to cut down that tree with such ease and comfort?" You reply "My power lies in the odd-looking reindeer on my chest." Onlookers stare in awe. People ask, "Who is that guy?" I claim he is a man of the season. A man of style.
