I can't make decisions.
I can't decide if this column is the worst thing I've ever written, or if the two papers I handed in this morning deserve that honor. We'll let my professors decide that one.
I can't decide if I want to fast-forward to May so I can graduate and become a real person with a real life, or if I want to rewind to the start of freshman year and redo my entire college experience.
I can't decide if I should get a goldfish or a potted cactus. I'd probably inadvertently kill both.
I can't decide if I should put on a sweater and turn off the radiator in my room, or if I should pretend that climate change isn't real so I can continue to wear shorts indoors.
I can't decide if I want it to snow already so I can wear sweaters and scarves or if I want to transplant campus to a tropical island so I can go to the beach every day after class.
I can't decide if I need to do laundry tomorrow or if I can stretch my wardrobe for another week.
I can't decide which shoes to wear tomorrow. But I can tell you they will not be Uggs.
I can't decide if whale sharks are real animals or if someone just made them up as a joke.
I can't decide if the new Taco Bell in LaFortune is the best or worst thing to ever happen to this campus.
I can't decide if there's something unnatural about Notre Dame squirrels or if they are just really cute.
I can't decide if I should get off the couch and find my laptop charger or race the remaining battery life. Yes, I am that lazy.
I can't decide if I should go to the dining hall at 6:30 p.m. and brave the crowds or go to Reckers and be underwhelmed by the menu.
I can't decide if I should go to Feve tonight or go to sleep before 3 a.m. in the morning.
I can't decide if I should drink coffee or diet Coke for my next caffeine boost. I can't decide if I should sleep through my first class tomorrow or sleep during my first class tomorrow.
I can't decide if I'm jealous of everyone who's getting ring-by-Thanksgiving-ed or if I would rather wait until someone financially-secure enough gives me a rock the size of my fingernail.
I can't decide if our football team is actually any good or if arranging my Christmas schedule around a Jan. 7 game is just wishful thinking. Knock on wood.
I can't decide if I should finish this column or delete it all and start over. Again.
Too indecisive
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.