Steiner: An NFL Christmas list (Dec. 4)
Peter Steiner | Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The Christmas list.
When you were little, completing this then-sacred document was probably an important tradition each Christmas season. This year, the much shorter list undoubtedly includes a ticket to a certain football game on Jan. 7 in Miami.
But we aren’t the only ones with wishes related to football this year.
The 32 NFL teams also have some things they wish they could have this season. So without further ado, here is the NFL team wish list for 2012:
The Saints desperately want Sean Payton back. New Orleans is 5-7 and almost out of the playoff picture this year.
And speaking of coaches, the Eagles and the Chargers want to get rid of theirs. Eagles coach Andy Reid and Chargers coach Norv Turner are a combined 7-17 despite their talented squads.
The Packers are looking for a cure to the injury bug, while the Bears are hoping their division rivals won’t return to last season’s form.
Also in the NFC North, the Vikings wish Adrian Peterson could just play every position. Meanwhile, the Lions just want to redo this year.
The Bengals want to clone A.J. Green, while the Ravens wish Ray Lewis and Ed Reed were in their 20s again. And the Browns, well, they just wish they weren’t the Browns.
The Patriots are hoping the Giants don’t meet them in the Super Bowl, while the Giants would be delighted to take down Tom Brady once again. The Cowboys, meanwhile, want to take the division crown back from the G-men.
The Panthers’ request is quite simple. They just want to win a coin toss (They’ve lost the last 13 times). Fellow NFC South member Tampa Bay wishes they could fast-forward three years with all the young talent on their roster.
Both with records of 11-1, the Texans and Falcons just want respect. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Bills and Raiders just wish a little luck would fall their way.
The most appalling wish comes from the Seahawks, who want the replacements referees to return.
Not surprisingly, quarterbacks are the most popular requests this Christmas.
The Jaguars want a real quarterback and the Jets wish they could call Vinny Testaverde out of retirement again.
The Dolphins, Colts and Redskins hope their signal callers keep forgetting that they’re rookies, while the Rams are wishing they didn’t pass on taking rookie phenomenon Robert Griffin III in the 2012 draft.
All the Steelers want for Christmas is the return of Big Ben, even if it’s in one of those horrific uniforms. And the 49ers are wishing they didn’t bring this quarterback controversy upon themselves.
Maybe best of all, the Chiefs want Brady Quinn to be their franchise quarterback (Okay, maybe that’s what I want).
Last but not least, the Titans and Cardinals want to rewind the clock to March for another shot at signing Peyton Manning. The Broncos, meanwhile, want Mr. Manning to keep calling those audibles – papa bear, hut, hut.
In the end, no matter what these teams wished for, Santa Claus – who may currently be disguised as Dallas defensive coordinator Rob Ryan – will be coming to town Dec. 25. By then all the teams better have their act together, especially with the playoffs just around the corner.
Contact Peter Steiner at email@example.com
The views expressed in this Sports Authority are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.