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Vegas vs. Miami

John Cameron | Thursday, January 17, 2013

As a political science major with a focus in comparative politics, I’d like to offer a comparative analysis of two vacation/clubbing/debauchery hotspots I recently had the chance to experience: Las Vegas and Miami.
I participated in the “Domer bomb” of 100 plus seniors destroying our internal organs and checking accounts in the desert wasteland of the West this past fall break. Now, I know Vegas has the reputation of being a college-aged male’s paradise, and it is certainly oriented toward the less-fair gender. Oriented towards draining every ounce of dignity and currency from our beings.
Las Vegas at night is truly an amazing experience. The clubs are pretty much everything they’re cracked up to be and then some. That being said, I paid 15 dollars for a whiskey and diet soda. Fifteen dollars. Two hours of minimum wage, or about 100 hours of toiling away as a lowly News Editor (we don’t do this for the paycheck). If you’re not prepared to drop an ungodly sum of money on bottle service or arrive at 8 p.m., you had better be rolling with a harem of ladies, at least providing a one-to-one ratio. Otherwise, expect to spend the evening raging at a hot dog stand.
Las Vegas during the day is cringe-worthy. It is packed with predominantly older tourists and people shamelessly flicking cards at you containing pictures of scantily-clad women named Jazmin or Destinee and a phone number. Everything remotely close to the Strip is outrageously pricy, dirty and awful. Basically, spend the daylight hours nursing that hangover at the pool or wolfing down In-N-Out. Second bit of advice: Don’t get in any “free limos” after 3 a.m. Just don’t.
Miami, on the other hand, might actually be paradise. Its clubs are just as clutch as those in Vegas but are substantially less skeezy, there are beaches everywhere and literally every local is beautiful. To be fair, it is also outrageously expensive and touristy. Also, I’m told the setting is not favorable for Irish athletics, but don’t quote me on that.
Rather than play the odds at another domestic destination for Spring Break, we’re just cutting our losses and fleeing the country. We chose a tropical location because, being even farther south than Miami and a safe distance from Vegas, geography is in our favor.