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Notre Dame Twitter accounts that must be made

Sam Stryker | Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Much like it did in the Soviet Union, privacy has become a thing of the past at the University of Notre Dame. You can run but you cannot hide from ND Makeouts, the Twitter account that shares photos of Notre Dame and Saint Mary’s students engaged in some serious public displays of affection, henceforth known as “PDA.” Students now lock lips at the risk of their makeouts being shared with all of campus (or at least the 2,000-plus followers of ND Makeouts).

As an avid social media user, I don’t think ND Makeouts has gone far enough. Tonsil-hockey is a niche market, and therefore I propose Notre Dame students take it upon themselves to create the following Twitter accounts that would truly go a long way in enriching student life at the University.


Sleep Like A Champion Today

Notre Dame students are known for excelling in nearly everything they do – athletics, academics and extracurricular activities. I would like to add sleeping to that list. In my time at Notre Dame, I’ve fallen asleep at off-campus parties, the library, The Observer office, classrooms and even the dining hall – all multiple times. I’ve seen people asleep in class, in academic buildings, out on the quad and even at bars.

Why not chronicle Notre Dame students in their comatose excellence? Heck, I’d even bet the Twitter account would push students to fall asleep in greater places – while doing pushups at a football game, at tailgates and while giving their thesis presentation. Go Irish, beat awakeness!


Library Outfits During Finals Week

This would kind of be like the Sartorialist, except the exact opposite. Sweatpants, groutfits, hair that hasn’t seen a shower in a week – what’s not to love? Yes, it’s nice to people-watch on the quad or in the dining hall or get all dolled up for a formal, but what I’m really interested to see is how people look when that Dean’s List status is on the line.

Finals week brings out the most innovative (some may say worst) fashion choices when it comes to Notre Dame students, and I say it’s a disservice to the University community to not share all of these wonderful sartorial choices.


People of Vesuvio’s Pizza

You haven’t had a true night out on the town until you’ve had a nightcap at Vesuvio’s Pizza in downtown South Bend, and by nightcap I mean a greasy slice of “pizza” that is guaranteed to satisfy any adult-drink-induced hunger. Conveniently located next to the fine social institution that is Finny’s and right around the corner from beloved Club Fever is Vesuvio’s Pizza.

I’d like to think Vesuvio’s is the upperclassman’s answer to Reckers, but that would be giving the on-campus establishment too much credit. Reckers has the 2 a.m. rush of freshmen and sophomores coming from dorm parties, which yes, can lead to very long lines. But that basically makes it like any old Disneyworld ride. Vesuvio’s is more like the Hunger Games, where you have to fight off fellow seniors in various states of inebriation to get that coveted slice of pizza. When you’re coming out of Fever at 3 a.m., all you want is greasy food and that can lead to some crazy antics that are more than worthy of sharing via social media.


Ring by Spring

As much as I appreciate the fact ND Makeouts is cultivating an image of the University as one of promiscuity and classic college debauchery, Notre Dame is a Catholic institution. We need to uphold the values of Our Lady’s University, and the next step in doing so is through social media.

The “Ring by Spring” is a time-honored Notre Dame tradition. For the freshmen out there, the rite of passage known as “ring by spring” involves getting engaged by the spring of your senior year (I first thought it meant eating a Ring Pop before the snow went away, in which case I was covered. Silly me.) I propose we designate a member of the student body who will capture all the moments of students getting engaged. Nothing says everlasting love like spreading news of your engagement through social media.