Declaring our University’s newest Quandrangle
Ryan Scheffler | Wednesday, April 24, 2013
One score and five years ago, our foremothers brought forth on this campus a dormitory unlike any other. Nestled in the shadows of Knott Knoll (the highest landmass on campus), Marion Burk Knott Hall housed the classiest of women, the Knott Hall Angels. Nearby, the lawless land of Flanner Hall became infamous for having the lowest resident assistant-to-student ratio in the Western Hemisphere. Their “signature event” was a yearly bottle rocket war with the lesser of the two towers, Grace Hall.
In 1996, their debaucheries caught up with them and they were exiled to the Soviet-like architecture of Knott Hall. Guided by their fearless rector, Brother Jerome, these 300 Juggerknotts established Knott Hall as the greatest of men’s dormitories. For years, their expansionary desires were suppressed by their general apathy toward campus. However, with the imperial power of the Faculty Health and Wellness Center rising in the east and the Library building a colony outside our southern entrance, we, the men of Knott Hall, can no longer sit idly by. Thus, on April 26, 2013, we shall declare the land between Knott Hall and the B2 parking lot, stretching from the N 41° 42′ 13.8895” parallel to the N 41° 42′ 10.0398”parallel, as “Knott Quadrangle.”
Admittedly, University archives list this as “the single most inconsequential parcel of land on this campus.” As legend has it, Fr. Edward Sorin refused to allow even the campus manure pile to be placed here. In modern times, the only visitors to the soon-to-be Knott Quadrangle are weary graduate students and miserably lost residents of the Western Quadrangle. We understand the only people watching as we toss the football around and play guitar on this quad will be the occasional Pyro of Pasquerilla East Hall. Make no mistake; this will not be a South Quad or even a North Quad. But that’s just the way we like it. The world will little note what is done on Knott Quad, but we, the Juggerknotts of Marion Burk Knott Hall, will press onward in our pursuit of dormitorial excellence at Our Lady’s University.