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Off the field kickoff

Isaac Lorton | Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The temperature dropped significantly last night.

For all you freshman, it was a little taste of the dreaded South Bend cold. For juniors and seniors, it was a not-so-subtle reminder that silly syllabus week is over and we all now must face the impending doom of this upcoming semester. It was an eerily cold wind telling us to brace ourselves: Life is coming.

Labor day has passed unnoticed. (At least by all Notre Dame students. What would our lives be without labor?) The carefree joyfulness that is syllabus week is long gone. The days of coming unprepared to class and doing something fun every night of the week has left. Books have been bought and calendars have been prepared. To the grindstone!
I even heard people talking about when their finals were. Wow, slow down there, Turbo.

First, we have to go to Activities Night.

There were three types of people there last night.

1) The over-eager, over-achieving freshmen, and by that I mean all freshmen.

2) The sophomores – who once were over-eager, over-achieving freshmen – who now go around signing up their friends for the Bungee-Jumping Origami Club, the Anti-Feminism Feminists Against Females Club, the ‘Do You Even Lift, Bro?’ Club for Those Who Don’t Actually Lift, and the ever-famous Name That Obscure Musician, Song, Bird Call, Wind Chime or Noise Club.

3) The juniors and seniors behind the tables who, two years ago, were suckered into these clubs because at that particular table, they were handing out all of the good candy.
Second, we need to have our resumes, portfolios and childhoods read over, critiqued and edited by the Career Center. And what’s with this Arts and Letters Boot Camp thing? We don’t need no bootcamp to get into the business world. We are Philosopher Kings (and by Arts and Letters, I mean PLS)!

Third, we must then take our refined resumes to the Career Fair, where we will wait in ridiculous lines to talk to the “Big Four,” while the other businesses are sitting there, waiting for someone to talk to, only to get people walking by and grabbing all of their pens and coozies. The “Big Four” sounds like a bad superhero team that couldn’t even make its name an alliteration. Amateurs. For all non-business school people, it is a time to sit back and examine your life choices.

Then finally, there’s class. And life. Good luck!