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DeFranks: Boston had no business winning (Oct. 15)

Matthew DeFranks | Monday, October 14, 2013

Imagine that you ah about to sit down for Thanksgiving dinnah. The food is all ready and made, it just needs to be brought to the table.
But then your dog knocks down everything and you are left with nothing but a big appetite. That was what Sunday was for me and every othah Boston-hater out theah.
I was about to watch Boston’s beloved Patriots and Red Sawx both lose on national stages in high-profile games. But both teams still won, despite having no business even being in those games.
My Thanksgiving dinnah was ruined and all I was left with was dog food.
If you actually like Boston teams, I have no idea why (unless fah some reason, you ah from theah). This is the city that gave the world Paul Pierce’s emasculating beahd, Tom Brady’s variety of ugly haircuts, Manny being Manny and the Bruins.
Theah is no reason to like Boston teams at all. Not even a clam chowdah bread bowl can make up fah Bill Belichick’s style, although it may come close.
So, yes, I was slightly irked when Brady’s Pats pulled out a 30-27 win ovah the Saints on Sunday. New England should not have even had a chance to win in the final minute. They had both a tuhnovah on downs and an intahception in the last three minutes of the game – and still had a shot to win it.
If the Saints had gotten one first down on thieah final possession, they would have won the game. But instead, they lost two yards and weh fohced to punt the football away.
On the previous possession, they gained just three yahds, used 22 seconds and had to settle for a field goal instead of icing the game with a touchdown.
But if New Orleans’ field goal did not close the game, Brady’s wicked bad pick on the next play surely did, right? Well, the Boston fans surely thought so as they headed for the exits.
I’m positive they weh all just trying to get to the Red Sawx game, yeah?
If the Patriots did not deserve to be in the game, the Red Sawx did not deserve to be in the stadium on Sunday.
But still, Boston’s boys eked out a 6-5 win ovah the Tigers in Game 2 of the Amahican League Championship Series. The best pitching rotation in baseball had held the Sawx scoreless for 14 innings and had only allowed one hit in that timeframe.
But in the eighth inning, aftah Detroit managah Jim Leyland yanked 21-game winnah Max Scherzer, the Sawx came alive. They scored foah runs in the frame to tie the game up at five. In innings one through seven, Boston had only foah baserunnahs total.
But when David Ortiz’s grand slam sailed into the bullpen, Boston was level and the game was a new one. The very next inning, the Tigers gift-wrapped a run fah Boston.
Jonny Gomes reached on an infield single and advanced to second on a throwing errah by the nahmally sure-handed Jose Iglesias. On the yeauh, Iglesias had only committed three errahs at shortstop but had a costly one Sunday evening.
Gomes then advanced to third on a wild pitch by Rick Porcello. Porcello, in 177 innings in 2013, only threw six wild pitches but had a costly one Sunday evening.
Gomes scored on a single by Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who hadn’t had an RBI since Game 1 of the Amahican League Division Series against Tampa Bay. But he had a big one Sunday evening.
Detroit’s starting pitching has dominated the Sawx but heads home with the series deadlocked at 1-1.
Neither of Boston’s squads should have been in a position to win Sunday but both weh.
If that does not get yah angry, theiah accent should.

Contact Matthew DeFranks at mdefrank@nd.edu
 The views expressed in this Sports Authority are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.