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Hitting No. One

Sara Shoemake | Monday, November 4, 2013

Everyone has hobbies. One of mine is snapping selfies with unknowing celebrities in the distance. Another is Googling myself in hopes that I’ll be the No. One Sara Shoemake. It’s been my goal since high school and at first, I figured it wouldn’t be that hard. How many Sara (with no h’s) Shoemake’s (with no r’s )could possibly exist on this planet. It turns out more than me.
Currently, my Twitter account is the second hit. Right behind Sara Shoemake, the veterinary assistant from Oregon. It’s going to be hard to usurp her position since she saves exotic animals like miniature donkeys and Ball Pythons. Her presence is also quite robust on Facebook, so I might have to become that annoying friend who posts 63 status updates every day (sorry).
Then there’s a Sara Shoemake from Ohio, who got arrested for failing to comply for a warrant for driving with a suspended license. Sorry to hear about your arrest, Sara, but mad props for the street cred you’ve added to our name on Google.
There were some adversaries who didn’t put up too much of a fight, like Sara Shoemake from the 1940 U.S. Census. She was 10 at the time and lived in Hamilton, Tenn. There isn’t much information on her afterwards, so I passed her up on the charts pretty quickly.
Reading through the results, I was pleased to see how accomplished we are. Sara Shoemake in South Dakota came in 53rd place out of 85 in a 10K and Sara Shoemake from the UK has answered over 25 questions on Yahoo! Answers UK in the Marriage and Relationships section. I don’t know who could spend enough time on Yahoo! Answers to provide thoughtful responses to ridiculous questions about love, but I’m sure it takes a lot of self-discipline. Keep up the good work, guys.
My main competition is Sara Shoemake, all the way from Atlanta. Her Twitter interests include photography, acting and make-up. She works with actors like Anthony Hopkins and Colin Farrell so she might have an actual future in acting (although I selfishly hope she doesn’t because then she’ll most definitely be Sara Shoemake No. One).
I get a lot of hate from my family, but that’s the thing about goals. There are always going to be a couple obstacles. You’ve got to find a way to overcome. Take it from me. I didn’t get to No. Two on Google by sitting on the sidelines of life, listening to the haters. So if your dream is to become No. One, just remind the critics of this: some people spend their whole lives trying to find themselves. Now, thanks to Google, I can find myself in .16 seconds.
Contact Sara Shoemake at     
    The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.