Dearest Elsa,
Stop. Enough already. We get it. You really like winter. Cool. But the rest of us? We’re sick and tired of it. Why must you continue this eternal winter? Is it because everyone and their mother has made a cover of “Let it Go” to the point that you cannot, in fact, let it go? Has Anna been running around the castle singing “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” so much that you decided to give her enough snow so she will never ever ever want to build another snowman again? Have you decided after all your dealings with humanity, “Reindeers are Better than People,” so there must permanently be a layer of snow to keep them happy?
While I realize “Love is an Open Door,” and nothing says love like cuddling next to a warm fireplace sipping hot cocoa, believe it or not love may exist outside of winter, i.e. “In Summer.”
Are you so displeased with your kingdom that you have deemed it a “Fixer Upper” and are currently punishing us for allowing it to fall into such a state in your absence? Whatever your reasons for tormenting us with this never-ending winter, I beg of you, stop. Please. I can usually tolerate winter during the winter months, but now that it is late March, “For the First Time in Forever” I have a glimpse of hope, and nothing hurts the soul more than a hope crushed.
If there is anything I can do to remedy whatever went wrong, please do not hesitate to contact me at 313 Carroll Hall. At this point I would do just about anything to see just one solitary violet through the snow. If some people are, in fact, “worth melting for,” then you must give us a chance to melt. Or at the very least thaw out. Just because “the cold never bothered you, anyway,” doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother us.
Sincerely,
Peter Hall
junior
Carroll Hall
March 26
