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Patriarchy is a men’s privilege movement

| Monday, October 13, 2014

Men’s Rights Activists of the world, prepare yourselves for the next couple of words, because you’re never going to hear them from me again: you’re right. Feminism is not about men’s problems.

Women are the direct targets and primary victims of a patriarchal society in which misogyny and male domination wins the day. The ways in which this system harms men are incidental and self-inflicted by men as a class. Men could be much more free if they were willing to reject their attachment to masculinity. But I won’t lie to you: as long as patriarchy runs our society and masculinity continues to be worshiped, men who reject these norms, or even those who accept them yet aren’t able to perfectly perform them, will continue to face insult and exclusion. So, congratulations. If and when that happens, you’ll have the slightest peek into what women’s lives are like every day. How does it feel? 

I have no sympathy for Mr. D’Emic’s claims that men are victimized somehow by “doing [their] best to try and obtain consent.” With such a claim, he reveals a near-transparent sense of entitlement to women’s bodies. Citing a poorly conducted study from 20 years ago, Mr. D’Emic claims that 50 percent of rape accusations are possibly false. Contrary to Mr. D’Emic’s claims that men are defenseless in the face of an accusation of sexual violence, overwhelming evidence shows that the majority of the time, rapists do not face consequences for their crimes. In fact, according to RAINN, only about 3 percent of rapists ever spend time in prison, and an average of 60 percent of assaults in the last five years were not reported. Only 10 percent of rapists are arrested, 8 percent are prosecuted, and 4 percent are convicted with a felony (RAINN’s sources include but are not limited to the U.S. Department of Justice, the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). In one survey of college-aged men, more than one in three of the male college students surveyed said they would commit rape if they believed that they could get away with it. Add to this the fact that 98 percent of rapists are men, and to me, that sounds like a whole lot of evidence that men who rape do pretty well by the current system. 

Which “rights” is Mr. D’Emic concerned that feminism is taking away from men – perhaps the right to rape and exploit women with virtual impunity? Men’s rights are covered under human rights. But patriarchy is a men’s privilege movement, not a rights movement – social privileges are built on the domination of other groups. The so-called Men’s Rights movement recapitulates these privileges. Effective feminism does, in fact, require that women be raised out of their lowered circumstances at the expense of privileges enjoyed by men – privileges that are gained by unjustly disenfranchising women of basic human rights.

Angela Bird



Oct. 11

The views expressed in this Letter to the Editor are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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  • michellemichelle

    The men’s rights movement is absolutely yet another permutation of the patriarchy, but I disagree with the first point: feminism aims at promoting gender equality, something that men could benefit from as well as women. Among these benefits is the elimination of the stigma of not “being a man.” Our culture expects men to to automatons who do not express emotion (we label this being “strong.” But there is nothing strong about refusing to voice sadness when appropriate). And on the converse, we teach them to resort to physical violence when threatened (quite literally, like neanderthals). Additionally, men who choose to stay home with children are seen as “weak” or somehow less of a person because they have assumed “women’s work.” None of those things are good for men. Men deserve the option to stay at home and raise a family if they so choose without being viewed as less of a human. They also deserve the right to express emotions in appropriate ways without being degraded.

    I agree with the article’s other points, and I am grateful to Ms. Bird for taking the time to respond to Ms. D’Emic’s article. The benefits that men have gotten from the subjugation of women are ill-gotten gains and need to be eliminated immediately so that women can have equal access to opportunities and safety.

    • xtothat

      LOL. What benefits exactly? Making more money as a result of choosing higher paying jobs? Having people care less about your suffering? Having less access to school funding and government services despite paying 75% of the taxes? Still fearing for your life walking home late at night alone? Being demonized simply for having a Y chromosome? Having your wife spend 80% of the household money? Being arrested by police when you are the victim of an attack by your spouse? Yeah, being a man is a picnic.

      • michellemichelle

        The benefits conferred on men by virtue of their gender are obvious and well-documented. But what I find more interesting is your comments history– you seem to have a major axe across a wide range of feminist issues, why is that? In what circles do you travel that there is such naked hatred against men? I have never personally witnessed any environment in which men were marginalized because of their gender but, by all means, enlighten me. It sounds fascinating.

        But to respond to your point: at no point in history have men been expected to stay at home and care for the children. Men have benefited immensely because they have been free to pursue an education, jobs, and opportunities while their wives cared for their families. Women have been historically excluded from schools and industries not by virtue of their capabilities, but simply because of their gender. By virtue of this exclusion, they are given some access to school funding to help correct those historical imbalances. I would also add that under our Constitution, educational funding is not a right. While I agree that both genders should be supported in education, your comment assumes that the government is obliged to provide scholarships. Unequal distribution of scholarships is not a human rights or constitutional violation. Further, public schools are open equally to both genders.

        Because of these historical imbalances, women have not had access to higher paying jobs. As far as fear of danger, I don’t believe that anyone has argued that men are immune from being attacked. However, women are overwhelmingly the victims of sexual crimes and assault. Though criminalized in the ’20s, domestic violence was not treated seriously until the ’70s. Nearly 20% of women in the US will be the victim of attempted or completed rape, opposed to 3% for men. in 2003, 9/10 rape victims were women. (Source: Rainn). Of course we should not ignore violence done to men, but instances of violence against women are much more frequent and therefore deserve to be at the forefront of the discussion.

        As for your other points, I don’t think that those are gender issues. If one partner in a relationship is spending 80% of the household income (I’m assuming on things besides essentials), then they need to sit down and discuss personal finances. Where did you get your statistic that men pay 75% of taxes? State or federal?

        • John Suni

          “The benefits conferred on men by virtue of their gender are obvious and well-documented.”

          You’re 100% right they are–when you restrict the conversation to the tiny portion of 1% of men who are in positions of power.

          When you look to the bottom of the power pyramid, millions of men are treated far far worse than women.

          Men dominate the bottom of the power pyramid (80% of suicides and 90% of the chronically destitute homeless, 95% of on-the-job deaths, 90% of the incarcerated) the same way they do the top.

          The male role is an extreme gamble. Perform it correctly and you’ll be in the top 1% of “good” men exerting your considerable power and influence on behalf of women. Perform it poorly, and you’ll be part of the millions of invisible dregs at the bottom who are refused help due to anti-male laws passed by the elite men to hold or concentrate their power.

          Feminism has *NEVER* proven that men in charge pass laws to benefit men.

          In fact laws like VAWA, and this Calif enthusiastic consent law prove that they do not.

          Please point me to ANY law which directly or secretly benefits only men. Because I could document 2 pages of laws which benefit only women.

          When people in charge presume that men are more greatly privileged and advocate based on that belief without EVERY BOTHERING TO CHECK how men are actually doing you get what we have today: millions of poor, injured, ill, downtrodden men who are not helped by the social safety net which is designed to help women.

          • Jenna Wilson

            The issues you point out (suicide, homelessness, etc) are not solely male issues, nor are they brought about by marginalization of men. Although at a lesser rate, they also affect women. They should be addressed for both genders, not exclusively men or women. Also, I would like some examples of these “anti-men” laws that you speak of…

          • John Suni

            “The issues you point out (suicide, homelessness, etc) are not solely male issues, nor are they brought about by marginalization of men.”

            How would you know? I don’t have any problem with feminists telling men they don’t know about the lived experiences of women. But, when men talk about their lived experiences (especially about being a victim) these men are largely told to shut up, or stop derailing.

            The male role is best summed up by the game “king of the mountain”. The accolades go to the men who are best at stepping on people (people but mostly men).

            Talk to the common man (not those in leadership experiences) and a great many of them will have stories about being abused, bullied, shamed by both genders.

            How would you know if there is systemic discrimination against men? I’m willing to be you’ve never even bothered to look.

            My grandfather was abused by my grandmother. My father came back from Vietnam (draftee) with severe ptsd and drug use and my mother was forced to divorce him (when I was 5) and I didn’t see him since.

            Four years ago I found out that he died in a fire as a homeless man, when his shanty in a preserve caught fire.

            Where is this male privilege? I’m looking all over and I don’t see it anywhere.

          • michellemichelle

            Maybe some more precision would be helpful– what exactly do you see yourself, as a man, being a victim of? Our world is unjust, and we will all likely be victims of abuse and bullying at some point. That does not mean that every experience of abuse or neglect is related to gender.

            Sure men experience discrimination– but it is more often as a result of their race, age, etc. In what way have you personally experienced discrimination in a way that was related directly to gender and not some other factor?

            Moreover, both genders can understand one another’s challenges through empathy. I believe Jenna’s point is that the problems you pointed to (suicide, homelessness) are not problems experienced solely by men by virtue of their being men. The pay gap, on the other hand, is a problem that is experienced by women solely because of their gender. I am not denying that homelessness and suicide are not problems (they absolutely are), but their relationship to gender is not so clear. I imagine there are some other problems leading men to high instances of homelessness and suicide (alcoholism, degrees of mental illness, stress, etc.). Those problems should be dealt with, but they are not directly related to gender.

            I am sorry that your grandparents, parents, and you have experienced such tragedy. But just because your father experienced something so horrible does not mean that male privilege does not exist. Male privilege does not mean that men will never experience hardship– of course they will, that’s part of living in the world. The concept of male privilege means that men have been given historical and systemic advantages that persist to this day.

          • Jenna Wilson

            Basically, what michellemichelle said. Those were exactly the points I was making. Thank you.

          • John Suni

            “Maybe some more precision would be helpful– what exactly do you see yourself, as a man, being a victim of? Our world is unjust, and we will all likely be victims of abuse and bullying at some point.”

            The fact that men aren’t allowed to be victims. If a man proclaims his victimhood, he is often scoffed at shamed, told to man up (by both genders) is probably #1.

            There is also the lack of genital integrity for boys, but girls are protected even from ritual pinpricks. There is the lack of rights post-conception regarding babies, the fact that maternal parental rights trumps paternal parental rights, the droves and droves of female only programs in the social safety net when men and boys are most at risk, there is the total lack of services for abused men (or their children) thanks to the anti-male VAWA, there is the idea that when women unleash their sexuality in a very dysfunctional and even predatory way it’s empowering, but if men reveal a 1/10th of that they are pervs or creeps (so much so that there have been several news articles of cops being called because a single man was at the park or the beach), the fact there is an anti-male sentencing disparity almost as bad as the anti-black disparity, the fact that men are now 35% of college grads and yet there are very few advocates of making education boy-friendly the way it was made girl-friendly in the 90’s and those advocates are being shouted down by a legion of feminist pundits.

            In addition to these and many more issues (too many to mention) where male rights seriously lag female rights they all stem from the total MYTH that men are more privileged without actually ever studying what the status of the common man actually is.

            I showed you mine, now what rights do you think a man has that women do not?

          • michellemichelle

            Yes, and gender equality seeks to change conceptions of men and boys so that they will receive emotional support. If that is the #1 way in which you are a victim, then feminism would help you.

            Again, please share the source of your statutes and statistics.

          • John Suni

            “Yes, and gender equality seeks to change conceptions of men and boys so that they will receive emotional support.”

            And what does that advocacy from feminists on men or boys behalf look like?

            Like this?


            An article mocking male victims of DV on jezebel.

            Like this?


            Jezebel mocking men who need emotional nurturance.

            Jessica Valenti stating “I bathe in male tears”.

            No thanks. Feminism is not the movement for any man or boy. Stop giving cover to a female only advocacy group (that actually fights to entrench anti-male double standards) as egalitarian.

            What statistics would you like links for?

            And please share what rights men have that women don’t.

          • John Suni

            “The pay gap, on the other hand, is a problem that is experienced by women solely because of their gender.”

            If you mean that as defined by systemic pay discrimination actually it’s not.

            Reams and reams of studies prove that the vast majority of the pay disparity is due to men and women’s different choices in work vs family equations.

            Men are 95% of on-the-job deaths and injuries.

    • John Suni

      “feminism aims at promoting gender equality”
      NOW fights shared parenting in every state in which it is being discussed.

      That’s not fighting gender roles, that’s entrenching them.

      You can’t solve gender issues for both genders by solely advocating for one of them.

      If feminists are here for men, please direct me to any feminist call-in campaign, write-in campaign, vigil or march in which feminists fought for a male issue.

      • Jenna Wilson

        Why does a feminist campaign have to fight exclusively for a male issue for it to promote gender equality? In fact, any campaign should fight for both male and female rights to promote gender equality. You are right in saying that “you can’t solve gender issues for both genders by solely advocating for one of them,” but wouldn’t an exclusively male campaign by feminists be just that?

        NOW’s fight against shared parenting is controversial. Instead of picking one issue that you disagree with and deciding to discredit the entire movement as a whole, it would be more constructive to work with feminists to address your concerns.

        • John Suni

          “Why does a feminist campaign have to fight exclusively for a male issue for it to promote gender equality?”

          How about the fact that genital integrity is a law in the U.S. for girls but not for boys? That would be a great place for feminists to start advocacy–and put their money where their mouth is.

          Keep in mind even ritual pinpricks or incisions (that do far far less damage than male circumcision) is illegal in the U.S. when performed on girls, but boys currently are not offered any protection whatsoever.

          This isn’t about female genital mutilation vs male genital mutilation, because ALL surgeries (even far less invasive than circ) are illegal for girls, so this isn’t about which is worse–this is about clear gender bias in the equal application of laws.

          How about the 13 times greater likelihood of mothers winning custody over fathers.

          YES, there are areas in which you can advocate for male rights JUST TO BRING THEM TO EQUALITY to females. But, feminists DO. NOT. DO. THIS.

          So much for you’re theory that feminists are here “for all of us”.

          • michellemichelle

            First, surgeries are not all illegal for girls. That’s silly. Could you cite to the statutes that you have mentioned?

            The debate about male circumcision is a totally different topic. Male circumcision has benefits, including hygiene and health. Female genital mutilation has been used as a way to violently impose sexual “morality” on young women. The debate over male circumcision is far from settled, but pretending that it is the result of discrimination against men is ridiculous.

            I happen to have some experience with family law, moreover, and in my experience custody decisions are rarely made on the basis of gender bias. Courts will award custody to the parent who is more capable of providing care to the child. In many cases, that is the mother because she is already the primary care-taker (and, sadly, in many cases the father is not in the picture).

          • Jenna Wilson

            I second everything michellemichelle said. And also, you can hardly call the fact that feminism is a gender equality movement a theory when it is actually defined as such…

          • John Suni

            “Courts will award custody to the parent who is more capable of providing care to the child.”

            That’s not precisely true. My understanding of family law (which is going to vary state by state) is that they give the child to the parent who did the most nurturing role. It’s called the tender years doctrine.

            Mothers get primary custody 80% to dads 6% are you seriously contending there isn’t any pro-mother bias? Mothers are the more capable parent 13 times as often?

            Yeah and men make better engineers, and women shouldn’t work in the workplace because it’s distracting for men.

            This is the problem. When it comes to fighting anti-female culture/laws feminists and other pundits have 1 foot in 2014. When it comes to fighting culture/laws which CLEARLY benefit women they have one foot in 1950.

            Equality isn’t a buffet table where you only get to eradicate the things that harm your gender. Equality should be ACROSS THE BOARD. Fathers rights should count equally to mothers rights.

            Yet feminists like NOW fight against shared parenting.

            Here is a video that measures the status of men vs status of women maybe this will help explain it more.


          • michellemichelle

            Yes, I am considering nurturer and primary caregiver to be synonyms. My point is that your data does not reflect gender bias so much as the realities of our culture– women are given the children because they more often stay at home with them and giving custody to the father is often not an option. I agree that men should have the option to stay at home and be the primary caregiver if they so choose. And I have already said that men and women should have equal rights– hence the terminology “gender equality.” Would you care to share your source on your statistics?

            Otherwise, who are you arguing with? The points you raise do not respond to my comment. Until you share the source of the statutes you mentioned, in addition to your other sources that have been questioned throughout, I see no point in continuing this conversation.

          • John Suni

            “Yes, I am considering nurturer and primary caregiver to be synonyms.”

            A) Let me phrase it this way. I’m old enough to remember in the 70’s when women royally got the shaft in regards to child support.
            The worker tracking system wasn’t as sophisticated as it is now. All a man had to do to evade child support was to change states or work in the (at that time) MANY jobs that paid under the table.

            When mothers were clearly being underserved there was a public pushed corrective action.

            Where is this sense of fairness for fathers? Child support is there because there is a sense of fairness that mothers shouldn’t be unfairly penalized for being the non-wage earning (or lesser wage earning) parent.

            Why should fathers be penalized for being the wage-earning parent? If we are to protect mothers standard of living so (during the marriage) she can choose her level of paid work involvement and not be penalized, in a JUST society we should do the same for fathers parenting time.

            A fathers parenting time should be his alone to abdicate during the marriage as agreed between him and the mother. If after divorce he wants his equal parenting role back, that should be his decision to make. His parental rights and responsibilities shouldn’t be the courts or the mothers to curtail (unless proven unfit).

            What is happening to fathers would be comparable to what happened to mothers in the 70’s and asshats reacted to their situation: “well, I guess she should have focused on her career more while married, then she’d have money”.

            There is no reason fathers should be locked in to a situation that stood during marriage (when his higher paid work time was a loving gift to the family) in a way we would NEVER lock in women.

            B) Also, it isn’t because of “societal pressure or gender roles” that women are CHOOSING to fight for primary custody. These mothers have the right of first refusal and almost never to split time with the father or give father primary custody.

            This is simply about one parent (determined by gender) having choices that supercedes the other parents rights, and the “out of power” parent essentially having no choice whatsoever.
            You can phrase it however you want but mothers have choices, and fathers do not. This is a clear case of female privilege.

            C) In B establishing that the mother bias of courts enables mothers to wield a great deal of power over the fathers and the children, the fact that NOW fights against Shared Parenting initiatives in every state is ipso facto the embracing of discrimination (when it benefits women and harms men).
            NOW and feminism in general is not a gender equality groups, they are a women’s advocacy group–nothing more.

            D) Over-riding a persons parental right based on a birth aspect is the biggest unspoken civil rights violation of our time. With everything that was happening to black families in the 40’s and 50’s the government NEVER tried to take their children away from them.

            This is the double-punch that MRA’s are fighting against. Both feminists and trade-cons have little interest (and outright disdain) for hearing the ways in which the culture or law tramples men’s human rights.

            Feminists have a zealously devout belief that men are more greatly privileged the way christians believe Christ is the savior. When you actually look at the stats (which I outlined above) when you actually measure the status of the common man vs common woman men are left out of the social safety net and doing much worse.

            And STILL feminists proclaim women to be the lone default gender victim of discrimination with blind fervor.

            Tradecons don’t want to help men, because they have a ridiculous belief that men have to be strong and make it on their own.

            Both groups (and a great deal of the public) laugh at men in pain or who proclaim their victims status (watch any slapstick comedy). Feminists and trade-cons both fight against aiding men.

            Trade-cons because they are idiots, feminists because they (or their leaders at least) are wolves in equalist clothing.

            If you look towards the advocacy feminist leaders enact instead of the PR handout bulletin points, proclaiming feminists as defenders of equal rights is an insane joke.

        • That’s not what he said.

    • patriarchy, lol what a sham concept that ignores the brutal reality men have dealt with for millennia trying to care for their families: Men are: 95% of on-the-job deaths, 80% of all suicides, 90% of the chronically destitute homeless (while women are 75% of the homeless adults in transitional housing setup by aid agencies), 90% of the incarcerated, 35% of college grads, and fathers get sole custody 6% to mothers 80%

  • Anonymous

    Is this satire? This kind of foaming-at-the-mouth “All men are evil” mentality is the reason why many feminists, including those with legitimate points and beliefs that should have their voices heard, are unfortunately not taken seriously.

    • Reading comprehension

      Literally nothing in this article holds a rabid “all men are evil mentality.” The author is criticizing the fact that the MRM (not ALL men, just a sociopolitical movement) ignores the historic privileges that men hold. Men have held nearly all of the positions of power for centuries. History, art, science, law, etc., all of it was viewed from the male perspective. Women were subjugated and limited to the role of housewife, and men benefited from this power imbalance. This article does NOT say that men are evil; rather, the point is that men have had an unfair advantage over women throughout history, the effects of this continue today, and this fact needs to be acknowledged. When the MRM doesn’t, it is living in willful ignorance.

      • xtothat

        How about falsely stating that 98% of rapists are male? No bias there.

        • Jenna Wilson

          Do you have any sources that discredit the “98% of rapists are male” statistic? And that is actually a point that feminists make; men are often criticized or seen as “weak” for wanting to be a stay at home dad due to the traditional gender roles that you speak of. Tearing down these roles would be beneficial to both men and women. Furthermore, not all men and women would prefer to be a “housewife,” as demonstrated by the thousands of men and women who voluntarily enlist in military services.

  • Hypocrisy

    The Men’s Rights Movement does not promote gender equality; it promote’s men’s rights. Their activists have no right to criticize feminism for only promoting women’s rights.

    • xtothat

      Promoting women’s rights is one thing. Constantly inventing ways to incite hatred against men and lobbying the government for special handouts for women for simply possessing being female, and to pass laws which destroy men’s rights to due process is quite another.

      I think the ultimate tell that feminists are full of it is the fact that I am being called privileged by a woman whom society protected from any unnecessary bodily alteration, whereas I was welcomed into the world by being strapped down to a board, and genitally mutilated without anesthetic. Some privelege! Hey Angela, I’d happily trade with you any day of the week, you poor poor oppressed hurt feelz woxan.

      • Feminism is not about us

        Feminism is not excluded to this Notre Dame student’s experience as a woman. She may or may not live a relatively privileged life, but that doesn’t erase the experiences of women all over the world who ARE going throught genital mutilation and forced sterilization.

        The point of feminism is not to have an outlet to whine about feeling bad. The movement exists to give a voice to the women who have for centuries had their voice taken away by men. We’re lucky here, because our voices are stronger than they’ve ever been before. That doesn’t mean we should stop fighting for people without voices.

        • XD

          Does nagging people to death count as sharing your voices?

          • Nathan

            Yes, and definitely one of the more mellow methods at that.

      • Hypocrisy

        Sure, feminists are “constantly inventing ways to incite hatred against men” yet this isn’t meant to be ignorant or incite hatred against women at all: “Hey Angela, I’d happily trade with you any day of the week, you poor poor oppressed hurt feelz woxan.”

      • Nathan

        While I agree that the general attitude of the author is abrasive and over generalizing, you’re not exactly any better. What rights of men are being lobbied away by feminists exactly?

    • Mark Neil

      The men’s rights movement, unlke feminism, doesn’t insist they cover both sexes issues… feminists often do. In fact, feminists often insist men’s rights shouldn’t exist because feminism has it covered. They attack men’s rights groups because “they should be working with feminists”, despite the fact may already have (see warren Farrell) to no effect, because feminists refuse to address men’s issues, while attacking anyone who does.

  • “Trying” is not enough

    “Doing [their] best to try and obtain consent.” – this quote is what ruined D’Emic’s article. “Doing your best to try” implies that you try but fail sometimes. What does “fail” mean? At best, it means that no consent was obtained, so you stopped and didn’t get any action. Boo-hoo; that’s not oppression. At worst, it means that no consent was obtained but you went for it anyway. That’s rape, and that’s horrible.

  • Jeffrey

    You completely falsely dichotomize men vs women. It is men and women fighting to dismantle the patriarchy versus men and women trying to maintain. The differences among the genders are 60-40 splits, not 90-10.

    Also, your 98% of rapists are men is wrong and comes from severe underreporting from men.

    You also propose no solutions. Blaming men fixes nothing. Probably even makes things worse.

    I don’t buy the stat that 1/3 of men would rape someone, and your belief and inclusion of it makes me feel great sympathy for you and the life experiences that you have had

    • Reading comprehension

      No one is blaming men for anything. The author criticized the Men’s Rights Movement for ignoring that women have been subjugated by men for centuries, men benefited unfairly from this patriarchal power structure, and the effects of this are still felt today. No one is blaming men as a whole; rather, the problem is that the MRM fails to acknowledge the historic privilege of men or consider the ways in which it continues today.

      • Nathan

        Not stating that there is, but IF there was a case of a double standard or instance where men are being discriminated against, then that history doesn’t change the fact that at the present there would be an injustice.

      • John Suni

        “No one is blaming men as a whole; rather, the problem is that the MRM fails to acknowledge the historic privilege of men”

        Yeah, soooooo privileged. Like when 10 million U.S. men were drafted into WWII and 1 million came back in body bags or maimed.

        Look to how Patton was famous for smacking shell-shocked soldiers and threatening them with a firing squad if they didn’t leave the infirmary.

        Feminists believe that men were allowed to seize agency, but the slimy underbelly to that is that when men refused they were treated far more horribly than women who refused to sit down and shutup.

        The fact that feminists initiate all these objectives (like domestic violence day, the idiotic enthusiastic consent law in calif, #banbossy, #yesall women (are affected by misogyny), VAWA) and ACTUALLY EXPECT AND ARE LISTENED TO with laws following belies their victim status.

        The fact that men are seen to be greater privileged (because those men who are victimized are silenced in a way women aren’t) has lead to far far more programs to help women at the bottom of the power pyramid than men.
        When you take the metrics that are used to show far more disprivilege and low quality of life of blacks and turn them to the genders it isn’t women who are the blacks: it’s men.

        Men are: 95% of on-the-job deaths, 80% of all suicides, 90% of the chronically destitute homeless (while women are 75% of the homeless adults in transitional housing setup by aid agencies), 90% of the incarcerated, 35% of college grads, and fathers get sole custody 6% to mothers 80% (13 times as often–yeah no gender bias there).

    • Nathan
  • h0tr0d

    Is there any question that feminism is a womens privilege movement ?

    • Nathan

      Um, yes. There are many areas of society where there is a clear and distinct difference between the experiences of males and females (generally to the females detriment). Whether or not it’s all a question of misogyny or not is a discussion worth having, but I find it a bit bold to assert that feminism is, at its core, based on a lie.

  • Travis Bickle

    If you ever decide to shave your armpits Walgreens is having a sale on women’s razors.

    • ND Student

      Grow up.

  • “Patriarchy”? Women elect men to positions of dominance (Aries, E. 1996 for meta analysis of behavioral research).

  • Connor Walsh

    Author is largely on point–though I may question some of the statistics, I won’t argue with her case. But to snidely congratulate men who try to break rank, as she does in her second paragraph, is counterproductive. In the culture of mass misogyny, rejecting proscribed, performative notions of masculinity is not a joke. My freshman year, I lived in a section which cultivated a crass and objectifying culture toward women. The decision to stand against that culture meant my first year at school was an unbroken parade of aggressive challenges to my sexual and gender identity. Was it worth it? Yes, because we live in a culture which normalizes hatred of and shameless use of women, and because it was a drop in the bucket compared to daily discrimination women face. Male culture, however, self-regulates through abuse and conformist pressure, and to make that a snappy punchline risks ostracizing those who are fighting an uphill battle to change said culture.

  • Nathan

    Found the source on the 1 in 3 college males rape point: http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/sa_rape_support.html

    As an aside, while I understand the anger expressed in this piece, articles like this always give me a sense that, as a guy, any opinion I might have on this matter is not particularly wanted. Intentionally or not, I always end up feeling as if the author is implying that, as male, I’m ultimately part of the problem, whatever my personal stance on the subject.

    • A guess

      You are obviously not excluded from the discussion. The concern that a lot of women have is that when they talk about issues like these, men come in saying things like “as a man, I’ve never seen someone catcalled on the street, so I think you’re exaggerating” or “as a man, my workplace is 50/50 men/women, so there’s no more gender inequality in the workforce.” A lot of men don’t perceive the advantages they have in many different areas of life, aka “male privilege.” It’s not necessarily their fault because a lot of these things are perceived society-wide as normal; however, that doesn’t excuse them from not trying to identify inequality that they perceive as normal.

      Your INFORMED opinion is always wanted (same goes for women, their opinions must be informed, and women should be aware of their “female privileges”). Women are more often aware of these privileges than men because “male privilege” hurts women; however, anyone can be ignorant.

      The concept of privilege also applies to different areas of life, like “white privilege” or “heterosexual privilege.”

      This site describes “male privilege” more fully. I understand that this is a blog post submitted by an anonymous internet user; I am just trying to explain “male privilege” and this person provides a better overview than I could: http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/faq-what-is-male-privilege/

      I am not trying to be combative or argue against you; I’m simply trying to explain why men’s opinions are sometimes not welcomed in discussions about women’s issues.

      • Nathan

        While I have done a little reading on male privilege already, the link you provided was very helpful. Thank you.

        I guess my issue is that this article, like the mens rights article, has a lot of thought provoking statistics. I had previously never heard of the 1/3 rape statistic and it really made me question a lot of my prior notions.

        That said, I prefer articles that focus on statistics, analysis and constructive solutions. Snarky, snide and emotionally charged articles (like this) have their place, but I ultimately always end up finding them to not do much more than preach to the choir. Nobody who agreed with the men’s rights article is going to be persuaded by the authors comments.

        And this is the part of feminism that stops me from ever identifying myself as a feminist. I completely support gender equality. I recognize that male privilege is a thing. I recognize that large elements of male culture in the US are toxic and should be changed. But this sort of idea that gets tossed around, that as a man I’m part of the same apparently monolithic group that thinks raping people is okay if I don’t get caught keeps me from ever fully jumping on board :

        Edit: My first reply required observer approval, so another post may or may not randomly appear in a few days. Sorry about that.

      • John Suni

        “A lot of men don’t perceive the advantages they have in many different areas of life, aka “male privilege.””

        And a lot of feminists don’t see the intense gendered oppression of men, because they are consistently only measuring the experiences of men at the top of the power pyramid.

        There are huge swaths of men who’s lives involve just as much bullying, abuse, rape and shaming. But, unlike a woman who talks about her victimhood, a man is told to shutup or called a sissy or actually physically attacked.

        You don’t hear of men’s stories of victimization because men are not allowed to be victims.

  • Pat

    One of the difficulties in trying to have a meaningful discussion of the need for feminism, particularly with overwhelmingly white economically and socially privileged male students, is that people in a position of cultural privilege and power see that state as “normal” and do not even recognize it. I believe that the cultural norms of “how to be a man” in our society cause many of the negative consequences for men themselves as well as women. We should all treat each other with dignity and respect.

  • Nathan

    Genuine question: which basic human rights are the author referring to in the last sentence?

  • xtothat

    Wow, the simple fact that you could believe that “98% of rapists are male” really outs you for the bigot you are. By the way, when you mention “statistics” that large, they are huge red flags, as they sound made up. This instance is no exception. I invite you to check out the latest available CDC statistics, which clearly show that the number of women who were sexually assaulted, is roughly equal to the number of men who were sexually assaulted by women for the last reporting year. It’s just the CDC calls men being sexually assaulted by women “made to penetrate”, and counts it as a separate category. How 50 percent gets transmogrified into 98 percent is very telling on your part. Clearly you are an ideologue with a hatred for truth, and an axe to grind.

    I also wish you could spend one day as a man, if for nothing more than the fact that you could feel the hatred against men which you fuel with your drama queen antics. You would see that the patriarchy is a giant load of crap, and the benefits to being a man are zilch, if not negative.

    • Nathan

      Technically though, if rape is ONLY done by men for categorical reasons, that would very well explain why 98% of rapes are committed by males (though it does raise the question who the last 2% are)

    • Jenna Wilson

      First of all, you can judge a claim made in this article, but that does not give you the right to judge the character of the author. “For female rape survivors, 98.1% of the time a man was the perpetrator. For male rape survivors, 93% of the time a man was the perpetrator. (Black, Basile, Breiding, Smith, Walters, & Merrick, 2011)” (oneinfourusa.org) This is a published statistic and I can assure you that the author did not make up this claim.

      Can you direct me to this CDC statistic? I honestly can’t seem to find it.

      Also, everyone has problems; it is part of life. What part of your daily life makes you feel that you are marginalized exclusively on account of your gender? That is an honest question.

  • -_-

    There are already men who reject this “masculinity”. Does the words “Beta male” ring a bell and did I mention how much of a turn off they are for women like me? Let’s get one thing straight, I find nothing wrong with men having their masculinity by their side regardless of you thinking it’s coming from this fictional patriarchy you sorry feminists keep insisting. Masculinity in my opinion shows character and admirable strength and I’m sorry to tell you this, but girls are naturally going to be attracted to this. To take that away would be the biggest mistake ever. Why?

    Because masculinity from how I see it contains bravery and self-confidence which creates the admirable strong alpha male while the beta male, as much as he’s a lovely, nice guy, contains too much worshiping and let me tell you that is the worst feeling ever and I’m saying this from first hand experience.

    By the way, nice shaming tactics which feminists has used several times and it’s getting reeeeaaaal old. Also what rights or privileges men have that women don’t? Does likely to be accuse of false rape accusation because of being born a male sounds like privilege? Oh wait, how about likely to have a harsher sentence in court than women get? Oh, oh, oh, wait, how ’bout 20% likely to get their kids because feminists were the ones who said mothers are better caregivers, even though that’s not completely true. Five days ago on the news I saw a report about a mother who beat her daughter to the point she broke 3 of her ribs and she done this out furious anger. But still mothers are better caregivers right? Women like that are always innocent, right?

    To finish this you feminists literally need to grow up and stop playing the blame game and stop making false accusations. Also as usual you guys are always concern for American women and think we’re such victims when it’s been proven time and time again that we’re not. Take your feminist movement to the Middle East and see what happens.

    • Stahp

      If you are one of those ridiculous morons that buys into all that alpha/beta, red pill, return of kings, etc. BS, then please withdraw from this university now. All you self-described “alphas” are nothing but self-centered, disrespectful, hateful, misogynistic, homophobic jerks. No woman will ever be attracted to you if you act like that, and everyone will think you’re an a**. Stop that now and learn to be a nice person.

      • XD

        XD First off, I’m a girl; why you think I said beta males are a turn off for “women” like me? Second, I practically grew up with alphas all my life. Only a few were mean to me while others were pretty nice. So to put it short, there are bad alphas and there are good alphas and you have no right to generalize them all together and tell someone what they’re like especially if that person happens to know good alphas such as myself.

        Now do everyone a favor and return to playing with your doll house. You’re obvious not ready for the real world where people are free to be whatever they like regardless of what you think. The fact feminists have a problem with that is why they lost my respect completely.

  • Fraga123

    Our most abundant resource in America: stupid undergraduate women.

    • Nathan

      Shame that it isn’t mature young men, no?

      • Fraga123

        A close second, but they are disposable.

        • Nathan


          • Fraga123


  • Bram

    How did this fascist get admitted to a university?

    • Nathan

      As much as I disagree with the more hardline feminists, I at least can count on them to post more than a soundbite.

  • Angela Bird

    Hi all,

    I can’t say I’ve enjoyed reading this comments section, but I haven’t been surprised by it, either. I don’t have the time to reply to individual comments, but I’m happy to have a conversation with anyone who would like to talk to me in person. Email me at abird@nd.edu (I’m a student at ND, despite what’s listed above) if you’re interested, and we can find a time to meet over coffee. I hope this doesn’t have to be said, but just as a precaution: please don’t send me hate mail or threats.

    Peace and wellbeing,

    • Reading Comprehension

      Sorry you’ve had to put up with this ridiculous backlash. You wrote a well-written article about a legitimate issue, but clearly a lot of these commenters don’t want to consider these issues and would rather pretend to be persecuted by feminism. It’s ridiculous to see these commenters freak out over any transgression against men yet refuse to consider how women might have ever been oppressed. “Ugh it’s not fair feminists don’t like us! There are fewer men in college! Men had to go to war in the past! Affirmative action!” Gee, you don’t like being oppressed? How do you think women feel about the wage gap, or the U.S.’s awful maternity leave policies, or stupid comments about “binders full of women” and “legitimate rape,” or being underrepresented in politics, or being underrepresented in STEM, or being underrepresented in chief-level positions, or being barred from the priesthood (and thus all positions in the hierarchy of the Catholic Church), or any number of other ways women face inequality today? Where is their empathy? They can’t expect support for men’s issues when they choose to belittle and ignore women’s issues. I hope these people gain some self-awareness and empathy.

  • John Suni

    “Internationally, practices such as dowry and patrilineal laws routinely deprive women of property rights.”

    So….what? You’re comparing 3rd world women to 1st world men to show men have no problems?

    Fine, let’s go international.


    Per the this study in 2012 nearly 1/2million people were murdered with 80% being men.

    Comparing 3rd world women to 1st world men to prove that men are fine (or women are more greatly endangered) is a fallacious argument.

    In Africa dozens or hundreds of men and boys are killed (per city) every day from circumcision rituals. The yearly continent wide count is most likely dozens of thousands or possibly more than a hundred thousand a year.

    This doesn’t even include the ones who are “only” disfigured by botched circumcisions.

  • Drummer1122

    The dominant structure nowadays is most definitely the Matriarchy and not the Patriarchy.